After hearing about the good jobs his friends' lawyers and accountants are doing, Peter becomes fixated on the idea of Jews as mathematical and legal geniuses. Hoping to give Chris a chance for a better future than he can provide as a Catholic, Peter decides to have his son convert to Judaism at a quickie Las Vegas Bar Mitzvah in order to turn him smart. Written by
Jean-Marc Rocher <email@example.com>
Did You Know?
Peter and Chris are already in Las Vegas, waiting in line at the Bar Mitzvah Chapel when Lois learns where they've gone. She makes the two-day drive to Nevada and runs three miles to Las Vegas while they're still waiting. See more
Nothing else has worked so far/So I'll wish upon a star/Wondrous, dancing speck of light/I need a Jew/Lois makes me take the rap/'Cause our checkbook looks like crap/Since I can't give her a slap/I need a Jew/Where to find/A Baum or Steen or Stein/To teach me how to whine and do my taxes?
References Dawn of the Dead
I Need A Jew
Performed by Seth MacFarlane See more