After hearing about the good jobs his friends' lawyers and accountants are doing, Peter becomes fixated on the idea of Jews as mathematical and legal geniuses. Hoping to give Chris a chance for a better future than he can provide as a Catholic, Peter decides to have his son convert to Judaism at a quickie Las Vegas Bar Mitzvah in order to turn him smart. Written by
Jean-Marc Rocher <email@example.com>
Did You Know?
The episode eventually did air on Fox, but with the following change: in the song "I Need a Jew," Peter says, referring to Jews, "I don't think they killed my Lord," instead of the original line, "Even though they killed my Lord." See more
Peter and Chris are already in Las Vegas, waiting in line at the Bar Mitzvah Chapel when Lois learns where they've gone. She makes the two-day drive to Nevada and runs three miles to Las Vegas while they're still waiting. See more
Nothing else has worked so far/So I'll wish upon a star/Wondrous, dancing speck of light/I need a Jew/Lois makes me take the rap/'Cause our checkbook looks like crap/Since I can't give her a slap/I need a Jew/Where to find/A Baum or Steen or Stein/To teach me how to whine and do my taxes?
I Need A Jew
Performed by Seth MacFarlane See more