Peter Griffin: Lois, what are you doing lying on the couch at this hour? Have you been drinking?
Lois Griffin: Peter, you know I never drink.
Peter Griffin: Oh yeah? Just like you never dodged the draft?
Lois Griffin: What are you talking about? I'm a woman.
Peter Griffin: Sure you are. Now.
Stewie Griffin: [Upon learning that Lois is the target of a hitman] Oh dear, there are so many people to thank! God, of course, and umm... who else? Oh, this is so unexpected.
[Discreetly checks a list pulled from his pocket]
Stewie Griffin: Oh yes, SATAN!
Peter Griffin: What do you want me to do, whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? 'Cause I'm married.
Lois Griffin: Peter, did you get that thing taken care of.
Peter Griffin: That thing? Oh yeah, I had the doctor look at it.
[Cut to Peter at the doctor's office]
Dr. Hartman: Mr. Griffin, that's not a growth, that's your penis.
Peter Griffin: Oh, well what about the...?
Dr. Hartman: Testicles.
Cleveland: Peter, you should never get involved with the mob.
Biff: Who do you think YOU are?
Cleveland: I happen to be the owner of this delicatessen.
Biff: Okay, well, butt out, Shlomo.
Lois Griffin: Peter, how can we afford this?
Peter Griffin: Let's just say the car was a steal.
Lois Griffin: Say that again.
Peter Griffin: The car was a steal.
Lois Griffin: This time without winking.
Peter Griffin: The car was a steal. Wink.