Peter Griffin: Everybody, I got bad news. We've been canceled.
Lois Griffin: Oh, no, Peter, how could they do that?
Peter Griffin: Well, unfortunately, Lois, there's just no more room on the schedule. We've just got to accept the fact that Fox has to make room for terrific shows like "Dark Angel," "Titus," "Undeclared," "Action," "That 80's Show," "Wonderfalls," "Fastlane," "Andy Richter Controls the Universe," "Skin," "Girls Club," "Cracking Up," "The Pits," "Firefly," "Get Real," "Freaky Links," "Wanda at Large," "Costello," "The Lone Gunmen," "A Minute With Stan Hooper," "Normal, Ohio," "Pasadena," "Harsh Realm," "Keen Eddie," "The Street," "American Embassy," "Cedric the Entertainer," "The Tick," "Louie," and "Greg the Bunny."
Lois Griffin: Is there no hope?
Peter Griffin: Well, I suppose if all those shows go down the tubes, we might have a shot.
Trica Takanowa: [on news] I'm standing outside Manhattan's luxurious new Park Barrington Hotel because they don't allow Asians inside.
Brian Griffin: Jake brought vodka to the school dance, and Chris got blamed for it, and it's really turn his life upside-down face.
[Stewie stares at Brian in disbelief]
Tom Tucker: It's no concern to me if it's turned his life upside-down face, Jake's a good boy! Isn't that right, Jake?
Jake Tucker: Yeah!
Peter Griffin: Uh, excuse me, I'm Mel Gibson, here for the key to my specially reserved room.
Guy: You're Mel Gibson?
Peter Griffin: Yes, I've put on a few pounds for my next role. I play Peter Griffin, a heroic warrior who defied the English to free England from the English.
Guy: Holy mackerel! Let me show you to your room, Mr. Gibson!
Chris Griffin: [chasing Meg around the house with a booger on his finger] What good is mining for nose gold if you can't share it with the townspeople?
George Washington Head: Hey Jefferson. Check it out. Chick got nailed on my head.
Thomas Jefferson Head: Sweet. Hey Teddy, pass the word down to Frankenstein over there.
Abraham Lincoln Head: [sarcastically] Oh, ha ha.
[Peter is watching a movie]
Brian Griffin: [walks into the room] What are you watching, Peter?
Peter Griffin: "Passion of the Christ." I tell you Brian - I can't believe that this guy's just lying there taking it. If it was me I would have done something...
[cut to Peter as Jesus being whipped by a Roman Guard]
Peter Griffin: Aahh! Ahhh! Aaaaahh! Aaahhh!
Peter Griffin: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Stop it! Stop it!
Roman Guard: Okay...
Peter Griffin: Okay?
Roman Guard: Okay...
Peter Griffin: All right.