- Danny Amatullo: You know, Schwartz, you shoulda laughed a little harder!
- Doris Schwartz: Harder? I laughed so hard I coughed up a tonsil.
- Doris Schwartz: [sighs] Lou, I don't think it's gonna work out between the two of us.
- Lou Mackie: Why not, babe? Hey, a May to December romance can be a beautiful thing.
- Doris Schwartz: Yeah, well, I can't stand the smell of cigar smoke.
- Lou Mackie: I'll quit.
- Doris Schwartz: Eh... I hate Chinese food.
- Lou Mackie: I'll eat Italian!
- Doris Schwartz: I'm Jewish!
- Lou Mackie: So am I!
- [laughs]
- Mrs. Berg: Oh Mr. Morloch, here's the afternoon's mail.
- Mr. Morloch: Whoa! I'm almost afraid to look. Probably another load of invitations asking me to share somebody's turkey.
- Mrs. Berg: There's nothing here that looks like an invitation...