Jane: Actually, I'm not a princess. My father's a duke.
Alan Twitty: It's okay. I know how you feel. My dad can be like that too sometimes.
Louis Stevens: [as Mike Hageman] On second thought, my bladder's only half full, or half empty... depending on your world view.
Alan Twitty: [mops the floor at the burger shop] Well, Mike... I guess this didn't work out the way we thought it would, Mike! Heh-heh-heh.
Louis Stevens: Yeah, man, the... The Mike thing is really not that funny anymore.
Tex Nagita: Well hey now! Looks like you got your appetite back!
Alan Twitty: [as Mike Hegemen] I guess so. Hey Tex, I got me some eatin to do here, so what do you say you wrassle me up a refill on this here orange soda, ok? Something wrong?
Tex Nagita: You was drinkin... grape soda.
Alan Twitty: Was I?
Tex Nagita: Mmm-hmm.
Alan Twitty: Well uh... I guess maybe all this meat has destroyed my abili-tye to recognize flavors, ok?