- Louis Stevens: I thought I had it in my front pocket.
- Ren Stevens: You do. Your pants are on backwards!
- [Eileen and Steve looks at her]
- Ren Stevens: Which is a really styling look for you.
- Louis Stevens: So, then, I hand you the chocolate, you eat it, and then you say...
- Alan Twitty: It's a miracle...
- [looks down on his hand and continues unenthusiastically]
- Alan Twitty: I can see again.
- Louis Stevens: No, that's not what you say.
- Alan Twitty: No?
- Louis Stevens: No, it's not. Because you're blind, and now you can see. That's a miracle, you can see now! You gotta be energetic and pumped, right?
- Alan Twitty: Yeah.
- Louis Stevens: So, what did Mr. Randall say, you remember? He said: "You gotta make me feel the chocolate has changed your life." Right?
- Alan Twitty: Okay.
- [theatrically]
- Alan Twitty: IT'S A MIRACLE!
- [breaths uncontrollably and kneels with his hands thrown graciously up in the air]
- Alan Twitty: I CAN SEE AGAIN...
- Louis Stevens: No, that's too much, man.
- Alan Twitty: Who made you the boss?
- Louis Stevens: That's how it is, all the great duos! Batman, he rescues people, and Robin... Robin checks with Batman before he orders four hundred boxes of chocolate!
- Louis Stevens: Do you wanna buy some chocolate?
- Tawny Dean: Forget it! I'm not buying from either of you!
- Louis Stevens: Why?
- Tawny Dean: Well, first of all, it tastes like dirt.
- Wallace Randall: Hey, is that my chocolate?
- Louis Stevens: Yeah, I thought we could move more of it in liquid form.
- [Wallace Randall has threatened to take legal action against Louis for failure to pay for the unsold chocolate which has melted in the garage and leaked out onto the driveway]
- Steve Stevens: [covered from head to toe in chocolate] So, you're gonna sue my son, huh? I may be covered in chocolate; but I happen to be an attorney.
- Wallace Randall: I'm not afraid of you. Nobody can touch Wallace Randall! Whoa!
- [Mr. Randall slips on the Stevens' chocolate covered driveway and struggles to get back up on his feet; he eventually does]
- Steve Stevens: Lemme tell you something, Randall! I've been researching your Chocolate-Pyramid-of-Success, Incorporated; and as far as I can tell, none of the profits have even made it back to the schools.
- Wallace Randall: Wait a minute! I gotta pay for the wrappers, the cardboard boxes, the fancy foil wrapper things... that stuff adds up!
- Steve Stevens: You've exploited and manipulated children for too long. You're gonna get your money back; but if I ever find you running another chocolate sale, I will bring you up on charges of fraud, embezzlement...
- [Steve tastes some of the chocolate]
- Steve Stevens: ...and selling crummy chocolate!
- Wallace Randall: Fair enough.
- [Mr. Randall leaves as Louis and Ren applaud at Steve for standing up to Randall]
- Ren Stevens: Dad, that was incredible!
- Louis Stevens: Yeah! Unbelievable... unbelievable. Dad, thanks for getting me off the hook.
- Steve Stevens: Off what hook? For the next few months, you're gonna be doing chores around here to pay for that chocolate starting with cleaning up this mess!
- [Steve walks back into the house]
- Louis Stevens: Go ahead. Call me any name you want. Go ahead. Go ahead.
- Ren Stevens: Louis, ask me that again in 17 hours.