Johnny "Drama" Chase: We don't wanna tell you she's a bitch, then two weeks later you get back together and you're mad at us for saying that.
Eric Murphy: It's over.
Eric: Could you get laid without Vince? That's the question.
Turtle: Do I give a fuck? That's the answer!
Ari Gold: I gotta know what you think, so I can get you to think what I think.
Ari Gold: They drive that way in Tiananmen Square, bitch?
Turtle: [about Kristen] She was in the middle of 40 Deuce with her hand down Vince Vaughn's pants.
Eric: She had her hand down his pants?
Johnny Drama: Both of 'em.
Eric: Vince Vaughn? That puffy motherfucker?
Johnny Drama: No bro, he didn't look puffy at all... He was lookin' real good.
Turtle: Yeah, it was kinda like "Swingers" Vince Vaughn, not "Old School" Vince Vaughn. It's kinda like New School Vince Vaughn.
Ari Gold: It's Die Hard at Disneyland, what's not to love?
Jane: Look, it's not like I don't think you're cute, but I'm just still hoping I'm going to be the one that fucks Vince.
Turtle: Sweetheart, look around. Vince is gone. So's your sister and your best friend. Come on, just make out with me, I'll show you where Vince eats breakfast.