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"Star Trek: Enterprise" Acquisition (TV Episode 2002) Poster

(TV Series)

(2002)

Quotes

Grish: [talking to someone off camera] Where is the vault? Do you understand me?

[next shot shows that he's talking to Porthos the dog, who barks back at him]

Grish: I can't lock onto its language.

Muk: It's a lower life form, you fool. Probably the captain's next meal.

Grish: Don't be so sure. Look at the size of its ears.

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[the Ferengi have plundered Enterprise]

Captain Jonathan Archer: What do you need all this for, anyway? You seem to already have plenty of technology.

Krem: One can never have too much. The Rules of Acquisition say "Expand or die."

Captain Jonathan Archer: "Rules of Acquisition"?

Krem: Mm, that's rule number 45. I've memorized all 173, including the most important one: "A man is only worth the sum of his possessions."

Captain Jonathan Archer: Back on my homeworld, that kind of thinking almost destroyed our civilization.

Krem: You should've managed your businesses better.

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Ulis: Krem, start loading the merchandise.

Krem: Why am I always stuck doing the menial labor?

Ulis: [pointing at Archer] Make *him* do it.

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Krem: This female... is different from the others. What species is she?

Captain Jonathan Archer: She's a Vulcan.

Krem: Vulcan...

Captain Jonathan Archer: They're really not all that interesting once you get to know them.

Krem: I'd like to get to know this one. Maybe I won't sell her... not right away.

Captain Jonathan Archer: Trust me. She's got no sense of humor. She's always complaining.

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Sub-Commander T'Pol: There are times I wish Vulcans hadn't learned to repress their violent tendencies.

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Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Just because a guy's in his underwear, you think the worst.

[on T'Pol's startled reaction regarding his outfit]

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Krem: [Rule of Acquisition #6] Never allow family to stand in the way of profit.

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[Muk is suspecting Ulis to have taken his scanners]

Ulis: Are you calling me a thief?

Muk: Everybody knows you'd steal the wax out of your own mother's ears!

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Muk: Do I look like a Menk to you?

[referencing the inferior species of the planet Valakis, which the Enterprise crew encountered earlier that year]

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Ulis: We had a deal.

Muk: I'm amending it.

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Ulis: Time's running out. Someone has to stay and finish loading the ship.

Grish: That's Krem's job.

Krem: I'm tired of doing this job. I don't wanna do all the menial work!

Ulis: Krem!

Krem: It's time that I showed a little initiative! I have the lobes for business. You just never give me the chance to prove it!

Ulis: [commanding] Get back to work!

Krem: [after a pause, subdued] Yes, cousin.

[the other Ferengi laugh derisively and leave]

Captain Jonathan Archer: [to Krem] You... sure told him.

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[the Ferengi are searching for Enterprise's "vault" in sickbay]

Muk: Why would they keep a vault in the medical bay?

Ulis: Rule of Acquisition number 23: "Nothing is more important than your health, except for your money."

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[Archer and Tucker are staging a drama show for the Ferengi]

Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: I'll show you the vault.

Captain Jonathan Archer: Trip?

Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Leave the women here, and I'll let you have the gold.

Captain Jonathan Archer: Not another word, Commander, that's an order!

Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: I'm not letting 'em take my wife!

Ulis: Wife?

Krem: She's not the one with the pointy ears, is she?

Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: No. Her name's Hoshi. And you're gonna keep your filthy hands off her! Do we have a deal?

Captain Jonathan Archer: You take them anywhere near that vault and I'll throw you in the brig for insubordination.

Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: You don't give a damn about this crew. All you care about is your precious gold.

Captain Jonathan Archer: I'm warning you, Trip.

Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: You're a greedy son of a bitch!

Captain Jonathan Archer: What's your wife worth? Five bars of gold, maybe six? Let them take Hoshi, and I'll give you ten.

Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: What?

Captain Jonathan Archer: All right, fifteen!

[Tucker charges at Archer with a roar and continues the discussion in a brawl]

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Commander Charles 'Trip' Tucker III: Sorry, fellas. Bank must be closed today.

[after all Ferengi have been put out of commission]

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Sub-Commander T'Pol: "Not that interesting"? "No sense of humor"? "Always complaining"?

Captain Jonathan Archer: ...I'll make it up to you.

Sub-Commander T'Pol: How?

Captain Jonathan Archer: Five bars of gold?

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Captain Jonathan Archer: [trying to entice Krem] I'll take you to the vault. We'll split the gold, 50-50. I'll even throw in

[pause]

Captain Jonathan Archer: the Vulcan female.

Krem: How do I know you won't try to double-cross me?

Captain Jonathan Archer: You're the one holding the gun. So... what'll it be?

Krem: [ponders, then holds up gun] Get back to work.

Captain Jonathan Archer: It's your loss.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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