- Sandor: I was having a drink the other night with this guy. Definitely an O.C., a big talker, real big mouth, right? He's talking about how Fillion brought him in on this big job. Now here's the kicker - he had this real stinky painting with him. Said Fillion had gave it to him. It was like, a Rottweiler playing poker with his friends or something.
- Constable Benton Fraser: Fillion.
- Det. Stanley Raymond Kowalski: Fillion, Herndorff, Cahill, Kilrea. Hey, it's got the makings of a bonspiel...
- [freezes and groans]
- Constable Benton Fraser: What's wrong?
- Det. Stanley Raymond Kowalski: I just made a curling reference. I'm gonna go lie down.
- Francesca Vecchio: You smell great.
- Constable Benton Fraser: That would be the neats foot oil.
- Francesca Vecchio: You wear neats foot oil?
- Constable Benton Fraser: On my Sam Browne.
- [Francesca gives Fraser a blank look not knowing what that means]
- Constable Benton Fraser: On my belt.
- Det. Stanley Raymond Kowalski: [Turnbull and Stan are watching a curling match on TV] Anything moves that slow is not a sport.
- Constable Turnbull: [Annoyed] Not a sport?
- Det. Stanley Raymond Kowalski: This is not a sport. It's housework.
- Constable Turnbull: It is a calling.
- Det. Stanley Raymond Kowalski: It may be a pastime, it may even be a hobby, but it is definitely not a sport.
- Constable Turnbull: [getting mad over curling being insulted] Do you want to fight?
- Det. Stanley Raymond Kowalski: Over curling?
- Constable Turnbull: Yes, what if I made fun of baseball?
- Det. Stanley Raymond Kowalski: All right.
- Constable Turnbull: Sir, your presence.
- Det. Stanley Raymond Kowalski: 'Your presence'? What are you? Like a king or something?
- Constable Benton Fraser: To Turnbull, yes.
- Constable Turnbull: In Canada, when we wish someone to leave the room, we say 'could you please leave the room?'
- Det. Stanley Raymond Kowalski: Could you please leave the room.
- [beat]
- Det. Stanley Raymond Kowalski: Before I punch you in the head?
- Robert Fraser: Close the door, son. Anyone would think you were born in a barn.
- Constable Benton Fraser: I was.
- Det. Stanley Raymond Kowalski: [Stan and Fraser, both in red serge are tied to chairs awaiting help] I'm not going to jail. The food, the conversation, the sexual hijinks, I can't handle it.
- Constable Benton Fraser: You may not have to, Ray. I think help is on the way.
- Det. Stanley Raymond Kowalski: Oh yeah. In what form?
- Constable Benton Fraser: Diefenbaker.
- Constable Benton Fraser: What are you going to do? There are millions of people watching.
- Damon Cahill: Didn't hurt OJ.
- Brian Kilrea: [Yelling to his men who crawl over all garage, and of course, can't find Stan and Fraser] Two guys in red suits, people, how hard can it be?