Shared with you
- George Herbert Walker 'King' Chicken: There is no Littlefield School. The students, professors, all animatrons. Robots.
- Eric Duckman: Even Deanna, that lovely coed?
- George Herbert Walker 'King' Chicken: Nope. I've never been able to make breasts. She's a Muppet.
- Eric Duckman: Ohh. To be Frank Oz for a day.
- Eric Duckman: You're finished, King Chicken! Washed up! Don't be surprised if MTV Unplugged calls you!
- Ajax: You know, you're probably my favorite dad.
- Eric Duckman: Only.
- Ajax: Only what?
- Eric Duckman: Only dad.
- Ajax: Only dad what?
- Cornfed Pig: Sometimes during an electrical storm, I can see in five dimensions.
- [Duckman, Bernice, Charles and Mambo stare at him]
- Cornfed Pig: Why are the sixty of you staring at me like that?
- George Herbert Walker 'King' Chicken: There is no Littlefield School. The students, professors, all animatrons. Robots.
- Eric Duckman: Even Deanna, that lovely coed?
- George Herbert Walker 'King' Chicken: Nope. I've never been able to make breasts. She's a Muppet.
- Eric Duckman: Ohh. To be Frank Oz for a day.
- Deanna: I'm Deanna. What's your name?
- Eric Duckman: Duckman. Duckman with a D, in fact, Ph.D., loveology. Perhaps you'd care to stay after class while I grade on your curves?
- Bernice: [throws Duckman into a corner] You're pathetic. You've got kidney stones older than her.
- Bernice: [regarding Duckman staring tiredly at the TV] You'll have to excuse your father; he's been like that since ten o'clock last night. The cable company accidentally unscrambled the Bouncing Naked Flesh Channel for three seconds, and he's afraid to blink in case it happens again.
- Ajax: [standing on an escalator in the mall in the middle of the night] Hey. Someone. The escalator stopped. I'm stuck. Somebody?