Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man (TV Series)
Duckman and Cornfed in 'Haunted Society Plumbers' (1997)
Jason Alexander: Eric Duckman
Quotes
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Hans : I am Hans, may I help you gentlemen?
Eric Duckman : You betcha Heintz, we're from AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-1 Plumbing.
Hans : You're from AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-1 Plumbing?
Cornfed Pig : Yes, we're from AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-1 Plumbing.
Lady Calowina Worthington-Ford : Ah, are these the men from AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-1 Plumbing?
Hans : Yes, they say they're from AAAAAAAAAAAAAA...
Eric Duckman : Al right! C'mon, we don't even have a plot yet.
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Eric Duckman : So, did you check outside?
Cornfed Pig : No footprints in the soft-earth under the windows, and no tire-tracks in the gravel driveway. Whoever stole the Sharon Stone is still here. We have to check out the guests.
Eric Duckman : [rubs his hands together] Okay, when's checkout time.
Cornfed Pig : [slaps Duckman] Will you cut it out? Remember, everyone is a suspect, so be careful. If we blow our cover, the crooks might come after us.
Eric Duckman : Big deal!
Cornfed Pig : They might get tough with us.
Eric Duckman : Let 'em!
Cornfed Pig : They might kill us.
Eric Duckman : [turns to run] See ya.
Cornfed Pig : Say, are you a man or a mouse?
Eric Duckman : I'm more of a flea.
Cornfed Pig : Flea?
Eric Duckman : [turns to run] If you say so.
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Army Leader Guest : My goodness, what an appetite!
Eric Duckman : Uh... yes, well... hold-over from my days in the military. Eh, what?
Army Leader Guest : Infantry?
Eric Duckman : No, we were adults.
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Eric Duckman : Corny! I thought you morphed into a futuristic, flesh-craving metal man!
Cornfed Pig : Have you been sticking the caulking gun up your nose again?
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Eric Duckman : I haven't felt a metal mama since I had to strap one on during my honeymoon.
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Eric Duckman : I think I just made in my pants.
Cornfed Pig : But you're not wearing any... ew.
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Cornfed Pig : Remember last year's Duckman Detective Agency talent competition?
Eric Duckman : I sure do! We should have won! But that damn Uranus just *becomes* Liza!