Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man (TV Series)

America the Beautiful (1995)

June Lockhart: Mrs. Nelson

Quotes 

• Cornfed Pig : We're here to ask you a few questions about America.

  Wilbur Nelson : America. Now, that takes me back. How's my old flame doing?

  Cornfed Pig : Burning a little low. We can't find her and thought you might know where she was.

  Wilbur Nelson : Afraid I haven't seen America for quite some time, friend, but, oh, what memories. When we met, she was wholesome, innocent, and knew her place. We used to spend entire evenings together, our TV dinners on trays in front of that glorious tube, watching warm, idealized families and non-threatening singing and dancing minorities. But then she started asking me things like what time I'd be home, or why she couldn't have a say in decisions.

  [chuckles] 

  Wilbur Nelson : Imagine a woman questioning MY authority.

  Mrs. Nelson : [appears in the doorway wearing a chain around her neck]  Dear, will the gentlemen be staying for dinner? I've fixed a roast.

  Wilbur Nelson : Speak only when spoken to, kitten.

  [Mrs. Nelson giggles and walks back inside] 

  Cornfed Pig : If I may, it sounds to me like you ignore the world around you hoping its problems will simply disappear, but they might not. For all you know, a member of your lodge may be the Bobby Sox Strangler, your paper boy could be a transvestite, and if you keep spraying your lawn with dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane, your next generation of children could grow limbs in socially unacceptable places.

  Wilbur Nelson : Wait a minute, you boys aren't from around here, are you? In fact, I'm starting to think you might be... communists.