- Takuguru: I'm sorry but we find your management style a bit... old fashioned.
- Mishima: Yes, a bit too severe.
- Gus Hedges: Too severe?
- Mishima: Yes.
- Gus Hedges: Well that's rich coming from you lot.
- Takuguru: I'm sorry?
- Gus Hedges: Mr. "Soldier Johnny, work or die" says I'm too severe! Well naughty naughty, throw me in a hole and push bamboo under my fingernails!
- Gus Hedges: If you don't go into that studio and say how terrific God is, we'll sue the Ecclesiastical pants off you.
- Helen Cooper: Gus!
- Gus Hedges: Not now Helen. And another thing, I'll be putting in a call to your lot's customer relations department.
- Helen Cooper: Gus, I've got somebody.
- Gus Hedges: What?
- Helen Cooper: I've found somebody who can do the programme.
- Gus Hedges: Oh! Well you can sod off then, bishop.
- Bishop Waddle: ...Thank you...
- Tramp: [pointing at George] Whore of Babylon... Anti-Christ. Beelzebub! Beware for he is among us! I know you... Anti-Christ!
- George Dent: Actually, I'm not the Anti-Christ. I'm George Dent!
- Tramp: [wandering off] Spawn of Satan, you are gonna be vanquished!
- Gus Hedges: You are looking at the most hard working and dedicated team in TV news. They all report for work at 8:30. Then we kick start the day by singing the company work song.
- Takuguru: What is the company work song?
- [Gus looks panicked]
- Joy Merryweather: ...Old MacDonald Had a Farm.
- Gus Hedges: Yes... uh, that's right!
- Sally Smedley: I've made a list of all the key questions, and next door I've put the amount of time I'll allow for the answer - "Is God man's attempt to impose order on a chaotic universe?" - 15 seconds.