Damien Day: And now after our six day trek through the hostile and impenetrable Borneo interior, I am now standing just a few feet away from the Bangoan people, a tribe who are still living in the Stone Age and have never ever been seen by a white man before.
Henry Davenport: This is ridiculous.
Sally Smedley: We want our desk back. Now.
Henry Davenport: You seriously expect me to sit at one of those? Besides, her inkwell is bigger than mine.
Gus Hedges: Helen, if I could just park in your mental multi-story a moment...
Joy Merryweather: Everyone okay? Shame, I was hoping you'd all died in the night.
Dave Charnley: Bloody hell, she must have got out of the wrong side of her coffin this morning.
Helen Cooper: [indicating Joy] We're going to have to do something about her.
George Dent: Well, she's probably going through a bad patch. Maybe someone's making her unhappy.
Sally Smedley: I'd be ever so grateful if you'd not put that on my side of the desk.
Henry Davenport: Pardon me for breathing.
Sally Smedley: Well, if you'd stop doing that, I'd be really grateful.
[Damien has handed Dave a 1938 Luger]
Damien Day: Had a heck of a job getting the guy to let go of it.
Dave Charnley: Yeah, I can imagine.
Damien Day: Had to saw his fingers off in the end.
Dave Charnley: [Putting the gun down] You sawed the fingers of a dead soldier?
Damien Day: Well, I wouldn't saw the fingers off a live one.
Damien Day: What's exactly wrong with collecting weapons?
Dave Charnley: Nothing. I was interested in guns for years - then I reached puberty.
Sally Smedley: Would you stop tossing your rubbish over my desk?
Henry Davenport: What, you've got bloody airspace now?
Henry Davenport: [after Sally has divided the desk] No, I shall not stoop to her level. You see, this is ridiculous, she's only put a line down the middle of... wait a minute, that's not the middle, you've stolen some of my desk.
Sally Smedley: No I haven't.
Henry Davenport: Yes you have, you're as bad as the bloody Israelis!
[Damien has tricked Dave into destroying some videotapes]
Damien Day: You were asking for it.
Dave Charnley: You putrid piece of rat droppings!
Damien Day: Look, I told you, don't mess with the big boys.
Dave Charnley: You dirty, conniving bastard!
Damien Day: Look, I'm sorry, you're just not in my league.
Dave Charnley: You have all the scruples of Mark Thatcher.
Damien Day: Now look, careful, you can go too far.