- Damien Day: Oh, this is just pure jealousy. Just because you two relics couldn't get another job on TV even if you went down on John Birt!
- Damien Day: Right, you are gonna *have* to use this. I have got Tony Blair's current political diary. Listen to this: "Oh God, Alastair Campbell has made another cock-up. Our strongly worded denial that the cabinet is dominated by a gay mafia has been issued on pink notepaper".
- Gus Hedges: What did you just call me, young lady?
- Dave Charnley: Bollock-brained crapwit.
- Gus Hedges: She called me that?
- Dave Charnley: No, I'm calling you a bollock-brained crapwit.
- Damien Day: The girl sold drugs, she had it coming to her.
- Helen Cooper: But what about her mother?
- Damien Day: Eh?
- Helen Cooper: I'll bet you didn't think about her parent... s! You have turned a young girl barely old enough to have outgrown The Spice Girls into a liar and a thief.
- Gus Hedges: Would you mind re-assuring me that everything's going to be fine at Globelink?
- Dave Charnley: [reluctantly] Everything's gonna be fine at Globelink...
- Gus Hedges: Because the thought of not having a job serving Sir Roysten is very black and hairy and has huge teeth.