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"Doctor Who" The Empty Child (TV Episode 2005) Poster

(TV Series)

(2005)

Quotes

[Captain Jack has just greeted the Doctor as "Mr. Spock"]

The Doctor: Mister Spock?

Rose Tyler: What was I supposed to say? You don't have a name! Don't you ever get tired of "Doctor"? Doctor Who?

The Doctor: Nine centuries in, I'm coping.

The Doctor: Amazing.

Nancy: What is?

The Doctor: 1941. Right now, not very far from here the German war machine is rolling up the map of Europe. Country after country, falling like Dominoes. Nothing can stop it, nothing until one tiny, damp little island says "no". No, not here. A mouse in front of a lion. You're amazing. The lot of you. Don't know what you do to Hitler, but you frighten the hell out of me. Off you go, then. Do what you got to do. Save the world.

The Empty Child: Are you my Mummy?

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The Doctor: It's brilliant, I'm not sure if it's Marxism in action or a West End musical.

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Captain Jack Harkness: So... when you say 'your companion', how disappointed should I be?

Rose Tyler: OK. We're standing in mid-air on a space-ship during a German air-raid. Do you really think now's a good time to be coming on to me?

Captain Jack Harkness: Perhaps not.

Rose Tyler: It was just a suggestion.

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Rose Tyler: So, who are you supposed to be then?

Captain Jack Harkness: [handing her a card] Captain Jack Harkness, 133 Squadron, Royal Air Force. American volunteer.

Rose Tyler: Liar. This is psychic paper. It tells me whatever you want it to tell me.

Captain Jack Harkness: How do you know?

Rose Tyler: Two things. One, I have a friend that uses this all the time, and two, you just handed me a piece of paper telling me you're single and you work out.

Captain Jack Harkness: Tricky thing, psychic paper.

Rose Tyler: Yeah. Can't let your mind wander when you're handing it over.

Captain Jack Harkness: [reading the paper she's just handed back] Oh, you sort of have a boyfriend called Mickey Smith, but you consider yourself to be footloose and fancy-free.

Rose Tyler: What?

Captain Jack Harkness: Actually the word you use is "available".

Rose Tyler: No way.

Captain Jack Harkness: And another one, "very".

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The Doctor: D'you know how long you can knock around space without happening to bump into Earth?

Rose Tyler: Five days? Or is that just when we're out of milk?

The Doctor: All the species in all the universe and it has to come out of a cow!

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Captain Jack Harkness: So, this companion of yours. Does he handle the business?

Rose Tyler: Well... I delegate a lot of that, yeah.

Captain Jack Harkness: Well, maybe we should go find him.

Rose Tyler: And how you gonna do that?

Captain Jack Harkness: Easy. I'll just scan for alien tech.

Rose Tyler: Finally, a professional.

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The Empty Child: [sticking his hand through the letterbox] Please let me in.

Nancy: [Nancy throws something at the door] You mustn't let him touch you!

The Doctor: What happens if he touches me?

Nancy: He makes you like him.

The Doctor: And what's he like?

Nancy: I've gotta go.

The Doctor: Nancy, what's he like?

Nancy: He's empty.

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Captain Jack Harkness: [Rose falls from the barrage balloon rope but is caught by a beam of light. Captain Jack speaks to her via loudspeaker] I'm just programming your descent pattern. Stay still as you can and keep your hands and feet inside the light field.

Rose Tyler: Descent pattern?

Captain Jack Harkness: [via loudspeaker] Oh, and could you switch off your cell-phone?

[Rose starts to complain]

Captain Jack Harkness: No, seriously, it interferes with my instruments.

Rose Tyler: You know, no one ever believes that.

[switches phone off]

Captain Jack Harkness: [via loudspeaker] Thank you, that's much better.

Rose Tyler: Oh yeah, that's a real load off, that is! I'm hanging in the sky in the middle of a German air raid with a Union Jack across my chest but, hey, my mobile phone's off!

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The Doctor: Ringing? What's that about? Ringing? You're not even a real phone and you're ringing?

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The Doctor: And I'm looking for a blonde in a Union Jack. A specific one, mind you, I didn't just wake up this morning with a craving.

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The Doctor: One day, just one day, maybe, I'm going to meet somebody who gets the whole "don't wander off" thing.

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Rose Tyler: You used to be a Time Agent. Now... you're some kind of freelancer.

Captain Jack Harkness: Oh, that's a little harsh. I like to think of myself as a criminal.

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The Doctor: Excuse me, excuse me. Could I have everyone's attention, just for a mo? Be very quick. Hello! It might seem like a stupid question, but has anything fallen from the sky recently?

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[first lines]

Rose Tyler: What's the emergency?

The Doctor: It's mauve.

Rose Tyler: Mauve?

The Doctor: Universally recognised colour for danger.

Rose Tyler: What happened to red?

The Doctor: That's just humans. By everyone else's standards, red's camp. Oh, the misunderstandings! All those red alerts, all that dancing.

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Nancy: How'd you follow me here?

The Doctor: I'm good at followin', me. Got the nose for it!

Nancy: People can't usually follow me if I don't want 'em too.

The Doctor: My nose has special powers.

Nancy: Yeah? That why it's... ah.

The Doctor: What?

Nancy: Nothing.

The Doctor: What?

Nancy: [Smiles] Nothing. Do your ears have special powers too?

The Doctor: What are you tryin' to say?

Nancy: Good night mister.

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[Rose and Captain Jack are standing on his space ship which is tied to Big Ben]

Rose Tyler: Do you have the time?

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[on the Doctor and Rose's outfits]

Captain Jack Harkness: Oh, should've known, the way you guys are blending in with the local colour. I mean, Flag Girl was bad enough, but U-boat Captain?

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Rose Tyler: Is it safe?

The Doctor: Perfectly.

[TARDIS console explodes with a shower of sparks, burning the Doctor]

The Doctor: Okay, *reasonably* - should have said reasonably, there.

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Captain Jack Harkness: Go back to what you were doing.

The Doctor: We were talking about dancing.

Captain Jack Harkness: Didn't look like talking

Rose Tyler: Didn't feel like dancing.

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[Jack watches the action from a balcony, and gets transfixed on Rose through his binoculars]

Officer: Get those lights out please!

[they start clearing out]

Officer: Come on, down to the shelter.

Algy: Jack? Are you going down to the shelter? Only, I've got to go off on some silly guard duty.

[Jack spots Rose]

Algy: Ah! Barrage Balloon, eh? Must've come loose. Happens now and then. Don't you RAF boys use them for target practice?

Captain Jack Harkness: [zooms in on Rose's crotch, which is visible due to her pants starting to come off] Excellent bottom!

Algy: I say, old man. There's a time and a place. Look - you should really be off.

Captain Jack Harkness: Sorry, old man.

[laughs, goes inside]

Captain Jack Harkness: I've gotta go and meet a girl. But you've got an excellent bottom too.

[He slaps Algy's bottom on the way out to emphasise this point. Algy looks rather pleased]

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Captain Jack Harkness: I've got you. You're fine, you're just fine. The tractor beam, it can scramble your head just a little.

Rose Tyler: Hello.

Captain Jack Harkness: Hello.

Rose Tyler: Hello. Sorry, there was 'hello' twice there. Dull, but, you know, thorough.

Captain Jack Harkness: Are you all right?

Rose Tyler: I'm fine! Why, you expecting me to faint?

Captain Jack Harkness: You look a little dizzy.

Rose Tyler: What about you? You're not even in focus...! Oh, boll...

[faints]

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Captain Jack Harkness: It's 1941. The height of the London Blitz. The height of the German bombing campaign. But something else has fallen on London, a fully-equipped Chula warship. The last one in existence, armed to the teeth. And I know where it is. Because I parked it. If the Agency can name the right price, I can get it for you. But in two hours, a German bomb is gonna fall on it and destroy it forever. That's your deadline. That's the deal. Now, shall we discuss payment?

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The Doctor: [Nancy locks the door on the Child] What's this, then? It's never easy being the only child left out in the cold, you know.

Nancy: I suppose you'd know.

The Doctor: I do, actually, yes.

Nancy: It's not exactly a child.

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The Doctor: [the phone on the TARDIS has started ringing] What am I supposed to do with a ringing phone?

Nancy: [who has suddenly appeared] Don't answer it. It's not for you.

The Doctor: And how do you know that?

Nancy: 'Cause I do. And I'm telling you... don't answer it.

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[last lines]

Zombies: Mummy. Mummy. Mummy...

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Rose Tyler: It's not very Spock, is it? Just asking.

The Doctor: [listening to a door] Voices, music, people. What d'you think?

Rose Tyler: I think you should do a scan for alien tech. Give me some Spock! Just once, would it kill you?

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Doctor Constantine: Before this war began, I was a father and a grandfather. Now I'm neither; but I'm still a doctor.

The Doctor: Yeah. Know the feeling.

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The Doctor: You're very sick.

Doctor Constantine: Dying, I should think. I just haven't been able to find the time.

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The Doctor: Nancy, there's something chasing you and the other kids. Looks like a boy and it isn't a boy, and it started about a month ago, right? The thing I'm looking for, the thing that fell from the sky, that's when it landed. And you know what I'm talking about, don't you?

Nancy: There was a bomb. A bomb that wasn't a bomb, fell the other end of Limehouse Green station.

The Doctor: Take me there.

Nancy: Nah. Soldiers guarding it, barbed wire. You'd never get through.

The Doctor: Try me!

Nancy: You sure you want to know what's going on in there?

The Doctor: I really want to know.

Nancy: Then there's someone you need to talk to first.

The Doctor: And who might that be?

Nancy: The Doctor.

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Empty Child: [to the Doctor] Mummy? Are you my mummy?

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Captain Jack Harkness: Saw your time-travel vehicle. Love the retro look, by the way. Nice panels.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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