Captain Jack:
[
when he realizes his Sonic Blaster's stopped working] Damn it! It's the special features, they really drain the battery.
Rose Tyler:
The battery?
[
both run through the door the Doctor just opened; after she stops]
Rose Tyler:
It's so lame.
Captain Jack:
I was going to send for another one but *somebody's*
[
looking at the Doctor]
Captain Jack:
got to blow up the factory.
Rose Tyler:
Oh, I know. First day I met him, he blew my job up. That's practically how he communicates.
Captain Jack Harkness:
The last time I was sentenced to death, I ordered four hyper-vodkas for my breakfast. All a bit of a blur after that... I woke up in bed with both of my executioners. Lovely couple, they stayed in touch! Can't say that about most executioners.
Rose Tyler:
Look at you, beaming away like you're Father Christmas!
The Doctor:
Who says I'm not, red-bicycle-when-you-were-twelve?
Rose Tyler:
What?
The Doctor:
[
finishes locking the door with his Sonic screwdriver] Ok, that door should hold it for a bit.
Captain Jack Harkness:
The Door. The wall didn't stop it!
The Doctor:
Well it's got to find us first! Come on, we're not done yet! Assets, assets!
Captain Jack Harkness:
Well, I've got a banana and, in a pinch, you could put up some shelves.
The Doctor:
Window?
Captain Jack Harkness:
Barred. Sheer drop outside. Seven storeys.
Captain Jack Harkness:
[
sits in a wheel chair]
Rose Tyler:
And no other exits.
Captain Jack Harkness:
Well, the assets conversation went in a flash, didn't it?
Rose Tyler:
Okay, so he's vanished into thin air. Why is it always the GREAT looking ones who do that?
The Doctor:
I'm making an effort not to be insulted.
Rose Tyler:
I mean... men.
The Doctor:
Okay, thanks, that really helps!
The Doctor:
I've travelled with a lot of people, but you're setting new records for jeopardy friendly.
The Doctor:
Hanging from a rope, thousands of feet above London, not a cut, not a bruise.
Rose Tyler:
Yeah, I know. Captain Jack fixed me up.
The Doctor:
Oh, we're calling him Captain Jack now, are we?
Rose Tyler:
Well, his name's Jack and he's a captain.
The Doctor:
He's not really a captain, Rose.
Rose Tyler:
Do you know what I think? I think you're experiencing 'Captain Envy'. You'll find your feet at the end of your legs. You may care to move them.
The Doctor:
If ever he was a captain, he's been defrocked.
Rose Tyler:
Yeah? Shame I missed that!
[
the Doctor and Rose have been teleported to Jack's ship]
Captain Jack Harkness:
Actually, I quit. Nobody takes my frock! Most people notice when they've been teleported. You guys are so sweet!
Captain Jack:
Make yourself comfortable. Carry on with whatever it was you were... doing.
The Doctor:
We were talking about dancing.
Captain Jack:
It didn't look like talking.
Rose Tyler:
It didn't feel like dancing.
Captain Jack Harkness:
[
refering to the banana that he tosses back to the Doctor] Nice switch.
The Doctor:
[
catches banana; holds it up as he speaks] It's from the groves of Villengard, thought it was appropriate.
Captain Jack Harkness:
There's really a banana grove in the heart of Villengard? And you did that?
The Doctor:
[
semi-shrug; waving the banana proudly] Bananas are good.
Captain Jack Harkness:
Okay, this can function as a sonic blaster, a sonic cannon, and a triple-fold sonic disruptor. Doc, what you got?
The Doctor:
I've got a sonic, er, never mind.
Captain Jack Harkness:
What?
The Doctor:
It's sonic, okay, let's leave it at that.
Captain Jack Harkness:
Disruptor? Cannon? What?
The Doctor:
It's sonic, totally sonic. I am soniced up!
Captain Jack Harkness:
A sonic what?
The Doctor:
Screwdriver!
[
the boy and other gasmask creatures come towards them]
Rose Tyler:
[
grabs Jack's Sonic Blaster and points it at the ground] Going down!
[
floor vanishes beneath them and they land in the room below]
Captain Jack Harkness:
[
stands after ceiling is repaired] Who has a sonic screwdriver?
The Doctor:
I do!
Rose Tyler:
[
ignores them] Lights.
[
starts to move around the room, looking for a switch]
Captain Jack Harkness:
Who looks at a screwdriver and thinks, "Ooh, this could be a little more sonic."?
The Doctor:
What, you've never been bored?
Rose Tyler:
[
still searching the room] There's got to be a light switch.
The Doctor:
Never had a long night? Never had a lot of cabinets to put up?
Mask Creatures:
[
Rose finds the lights; turns them on to find the room filled with gasmask creatures; all start chanting] Mummy?Mummy!
Captain Jack Harkness:
Door.
[
all 3 run towards it]
[
last lines]
Rose Tyler:
Actually, Doctor, I thought Jack might like this dance.
The Doctor:
I'm sure he would, Rose, I'm absolutely certain. But who with?
[
she laughs, and steps forward to dance with the Doctor]
The Doctor:
What's life. Life's easy. A quirk of matter. Nature's way of keeping meat fresh. Nothing to a nanogene.
Rose Tyler:
Doesn't the universe implode or something if you dance?
The Doctor:
Well, I've got the moves, but I wouldn't want to boast.
The Doctor:
[
having secretly switched Jack's Sonic Blaster with a banana, he now uses it to create a hole in the wall for their escape] Go, now, don't drop the banana!
Captain Jack Harkness:
Why not?
The Doctor:
[
as if vitally important] Good source of potassium!
The Doctor:
There isn't a little boy born who wouldn't tear the world apart to save his mummy. And this little boy can.
The Doctor:
Everybody lives, Rose! Just this once, everybody lives!
Mrs. Harcourt:
My leg's grown back! When I come to the hospital, I had one leg...
Doctor Constantine:
Well, there is a war on... is it possible you miscounted?
The Doctor:
Who am I to argue with history?
Rose Tyler:
Usually the first in line.
The Doctor:
[
identifying Jack's weapon] Sonic Blaster. Fifty-first century. Weapons factory at Villengard?
Captain Jack Harkness:
You've been to the factories?
The Doctor:
Once.
Captain Jack Harkness:
Well, they're gone now, destroyed. Main reactor went critical, vaporized the lot.
The Doctor:
Like I said. Once.
[
looking over at Rose; matter-of-factly]
The Doctor:
There's a banana grove there now.
[
looks at Jack; smiling]
The Doctor:
I like bananas. Bananas are good.
[
when asked by Rose to dance]
The Doctor:
Rose, I'm trying to resonate concrete...
Nancy:
Yes, I am your mummy. I will always be your mummy.
Captain Jack:
[
about The TARDIS] Much bigger on the inside.
The Doctor:
You'd better be.
Rose:
I think what the Doctor's trying to say is - you may cut in.
The Doctor:
[
to Captain Jack] Close the door, will you? Your ship's about to blow up - there's gonna be a draught.
Rose Tyler:
Are the words 'distract the guard' heading in my general direction?
The Doctor:
I don't think that's such a good idea.
Rose Tyler:
Don't worry. I can handle it.
Captain Jack Harkness:
I've gotten to know Algy quite well since I've been in town. Trust me, you're not his type. I'll distract him. Don't wait up.
The Doctor:
Relax. He's a fifty-first century guy. He's just a bit more flexible when it comes to 'dancing'.
Rose Tyler:
How flexible?
The Doctor:
Well, by his time, you lot are spread out across half the galaxy.
Rose Tyler:
Meaning?
The Doctor:
So many species, so little time.
Rose Tyler:
What, that's what we do when we get out there? That's our mission? We seek new life and...
[
weakly]
Rose Tyler:
and...
The Doctor:
[
nodding] Dance.
[
smiles at his clever pun]
[
first lines]
Mask Creatures:
[
with increasing intensity] Mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy.
The Doctor:
Go to your room.
[
mask creatures stop]
The Doctor:
Go to your room! I mean it. I am very, very angry with you. I'm very, very cross. Go... To... Your... Room!
[
mask creatures turn and go back to their beds]
The Doctor:
[
sighing] I'm really glad that worked. Those would have been terrible last words.
The Doctor:
Funny little human brains... How do you get around in those things?
Rose Tyler:
When he's stressed, he likes to insult species.
The Doctor:
Rose, I'm thinking.
Rose Tyler:
Cuts himself shaving, does half an hour on life forms he's cleverer than.
Captain Jack:
[
as he comes to 'distract' Algy] Hey, Tiger. How's it hanging?
Algy:
[
turns around, confused look on his face] Mummy?
Captain Jack:
Algy, old sport, it's me.
Algy:
[
still looks confused, but trying to register Jack's words] Mummy?
Captain Jack:
It's me, Jack.
Algy:
Jack?
[
really trying to focus on him]
Algy:
Are you my... mummy?
[
suddenly starts coughing; drops to his knees, Jack watches in horror as Algy transforms into a gasmask creature]
The Doctor:
[
on Jack] So, where'd you pick this one up, then?
Rose:
Doctor...
Captain Jack:
She was hanging from a barrage balloon, I had an invisible spaceship.
[
smiling]
Captain Jack:
I never stood a chance.
[
Rose slowly smiles, obviously flattered]
The Doctor:
[
Listening to a recording of the child] It's afraid. Terribly afraid, and powerful. It doesn't know it yet, but it will do.
The Doctor:
[
laughs softly] It's got the power of a god, and I just sent it to its room!
Rose Tyler:
[
Hearing a whirring, flapping sound] Doctor...
The Empty Child:
I'm here; can't you see me?
Rose Tyler:
What's that noise?
The Doctor:
End of the tape. It ran out about 30 seconds ago.
The Empty Child:
I'm here, now! Can't you see me?
The Doctor:
[
realizing] I sent it to its room. This is its room!
The Doctor:
Don't drop the banana!
Captain Jack:
Why not?
The Doctor:
Good source of potassium!
Related Links
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