The Anne Droid:
So, Rose, what do you actually do?
Rose Tyler:
I just travel about a bit. Bit of a tourist,
[
smiling]
Rose Tyler:
I suppose.
The Anne Droid:
Another way of saying unemployed?
Rose Tyler:
No.
The Anne Droid:
Have you got a job?
Rose Tyler:
[
sounding less confident] Well, not really, no.
The Anne Droid:
Then you *are* unemployed. And yet you've still got enough money to buy peroxide.
The Anne Droid:
Rose, you leave this life with nothing.
Captain Jack Harkness:
What's a Defabricator?
Captain Jack Harkness:
[
his clothes get disintegrated]
Captain Jack Harkness:
Okay, defabricator, does exactly what it says on the tin. Am I naked in front of millions of viewers?
Zu-Zana, Trine-e:
[
enthusiastically] Absolutely.
Captain Jack Harkness:
Ladies, your viewing figures just went up.
[
repeated line]
The Anne Droid:
You are the weakest link. Goodbye.
The Doctor:
The human race. Brainless sheep, being fed on a diet of - mind you, have they still got that program where three people have to live with a bear?
Lynda:
Oh, Bear With Me? I love that one!
The Doctor:
And me. The celebrity edition, where the bear...
The Doctor, Lynda:
got in the bath!
[
both smiling]
The Doctor:
But it's all gone wrong! I mean, history's gone wrong. Again!
Dalek:
It is the Doctor. He has located us. Open communications channel!
Dalek:
The female will stand! Stand!
[
the screen comes up]
Dalek:
I will talk to the Doctor.
The Doctor:
Oh, will you? That's nice. Hello!
Dalek:
The Dalek stratagem nears completion. The fleet is almost ready. You will not intervene.
The Doctor:
Oh, really? Why's that then?
Dalek:
We have your associate. You will obey or she will be exterminated.
The Doctor:
No.
[
everyone looks at The Doctor, stunned]
Dalek:
Explain yourself.
The Doctor:
I said no.
Dalek:
What is the meaning of this negative?
The Doctor:
It means no!
Dalek:
But she will be destroyed!
The Doctor:
*No*! 'Cause this is what I'm gonna do - I'm gonna rescue her! I'm gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet, and then I'm gonna save the Earth, and *then* - just to finish you off - I'm gonna wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!
Dalek:
But you have no weapons, no defences, no *plan*!
The Doctor:
Yeah, and doesn't that scare you to death?
[
to Rose]
The Doctor:
Rose?
Rose:
Yes, Doctor?
The Doctor:
I'm coming to get you.
Dalek:
The Doctor is initiating hostile action.
Dalek:
The stratagem must advance. Begin the invasion of Earth.
Dalek:
The Doctor will be exterminated.
[
the camera cuts back to reveal thousands of Daleks]
Daleks:
Exterminate. Exterminate!
[
shouts]
Daleks:
Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!
Captain Jack Harkness:
That's impossible. I know those ships, they were destroyed.
The Doctor:
Obviously they survived.
Lynda:
Who did? Who are they?
The Doctor:
Two hundred ships. More than two thousand on board each one. That's just about half a million of them.
Male Programmer:
Half a million what?
The Doctor:
Daleks.
[
cut to the interior of the ship]
Dalek:
Alert! Alert! We are detected!
[
the Controller is teleported onto the Dalek ship]
The Controller:
Oh, my masters. You can kill me for I have brought your destruction!
[
she is exterminated]
Trine-e:
And now it's time for the face off.
Captain Jack Harkness:
What does that mean? Do I get to
[
mimes boxing]
Captain Jack Harkness:
compete with someone else?
Trine-e:
No, like I said: face... off.
[
has raised both hands to reveal syringes and a chain saw]
[
the Doctor is in the Diary Room]
The Davina Droid:
You are live on channel 44,000. Please do not swear.
The Doctor:
You have *got* to be kidding.
The Doctor:
Oh my...
[
looks at the earth]
The Doctor:
I've made this world!
Lynda:
She's been evicted... from life.
Captain Jack Harkness:
[
as The Doctor trys to patch into the computer system; Jack turns to Lynda & smiles; offering his hand] Hey there!
Lynda:
[
bright friendly smile] Hello.
Captain Jack Harkness:
[
as they shake hands] Catain Jack Harkness.
Lynda:
Lynda Moss.
Captain Jack Harkness:
Nice to meet you, Lynda Moss.
The Doctor:
[
not looking up; sounds annoyed] Do you mind flirting outside?
Captain Jack Harkness:
[
mildly defensive] I was just saying hello.
The Doctor:
For you, that's flirting.
Lynda:
[
hand still linked with Jack's] I'm not complaining.
[
smiling]
Captain Jack Harkness:
[
smiles back] Muchas Gracias.
[
kisses her hand]
Lynda:
A hundred years ago. What?
[
follows him to another door]
Lynda:
You were here 100 years ago?
The Doctor:
[
glances back briefly as he walks] Yep.
Lynda:
Well, you're looking good on it.
The Doctor:
[
turns around to face her; pointedly] I moisturize.
Female Programmer:
If you're not holding us hostage, then open the door and let us out. The staff are terrified!
The Doctor:
That's the same staff who execute hundreds of contestants every day?
Female Programmer:
That's not our fault. We're just doing our jobs.
The Doctor:
And with that sentence, you just lost the right to even talk to me. Now back off!
Captain Jack Harkness:
[
after listening to Trin-e & Zu-Zana dicuss what they're going to do to him] Hold on, ladies, I don't want to have to shoot either one of you.
Zu-Zana:
But you're unarmed.
Trine-e:
[
as Jack reaches behind his back] You're naked.
Trine-e:
[
Jack has just revealed a small gun that he now points at Trin-e] But that's a Compact Laser Delux.
Zu-Zana:
Where were you hiding that?
Captain Jack Harkness:
[
with the gun pointing at Zu-Zana] You *really* don't want to know.
Trine-e:
[
moving forwards] Give me that accessory!
[
points gun back at Trin-e & shoots her then Zu-Zana, blowing their heads to pieces]
Female Programmer:
[
sees Jack about to open the door to Archive 6; athoritative & loudly] You're not allowed in there. Archive 6 is out of bounds.
Captain Jack Harkness:
[
raising his 2 large guns; shouts] Do I look like an 'out of bounds' sort of guy?
Male Programmer:
[
placing a logbook in front of Jack] Use that, it might contain the final numbers. I kept a log of all the unscheduled transmissions.
Captain Jack Harkness:
[
looks up at him; impressed] Nice, thanks.
[
offers his hand]
Captain Jack Harkness:
Captain Jack Harkness, by the way.
Male Programmer:
[
shakes hands with him] I'm Davitch Pavale.
Captain Jack Harkness:
[
smiling; in same tone he used when greeting Lynda] Nice to meet you, Davitch Pavale.
The Doctor:
[
looks down at Jack; annoyed again] There's a time and a place.
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