Clerk at Death Pit: I present to you the ultimate symbol of male supremacy, the TV remote control.
Earl: I won't be home for dinner, Roy and I are going down to the mall to cruise the food court...
Robbie: Isn't it a work night?
Earl: But Roy is going.
Robbie: Well I'm not Roy's father. Oh I see, you're testing me. Well I think you're at an age where you're mature enough to make your own decisions.
Earl: Oh cool. Have some wax lips.
Earl Sinclair: I thought I told you to mow the lawn.
Robbie Sinclair: I told you, the lawn mower is broken.
Earl Sinclair: Scissors. Cut it with scissors.
Robbie Sinclair: Oh come on.
Earl Sinclair: Geez you kids have it too easy. When I was your age we didn't have lawn mowers, we didn't have scissors, we had to get down on all fours and graze like a cow.
Robbie Sinclair: Dad.
Earl Sinclair: Mooooo.
Robbie Sinclair: Dad, I'm here with a girl. It might help if you didn't make me look like the world's biggest weenie.
Earl Sinclair: Well pardon me, Mr. Dignified, I didn't mean to belittle you as you were about to hit the ball up the clown's pants.
Robbie Sinclair: Everyday it's the same thing. He comes home and says "Franny, get me a beer." And then he yells at me.
Earl Sinclair: Oh not true. Sometimes I yell at you first.
Man Over P.A.: Attention, Robbie Sinclair, your father is here.
Robbie: That's it, I'm gonna tell him where to get off this time.
Man Over P.A.: He looks really steamed.
Fran Sinclair: Earl Sneed, Sinclair if you touch one scale on that boy's head, I'll disconnect your premium cable channels.
Earl: You'd make me watch basic?
Robbie: Can I have a moment's peace? I was at work all day.
Fran Sinclair: Robbie, you are the supreme male. These are your responsibilities now. If you can't handle them, maybe you should turn them over to someone with more maturity.
Earl: [wearing goofy glasses] Whoa, Fran, I can see your underwear.
Fran Sinclair: The baby flushed his caveman doll down the toilet and now it's backed up.
Fran Sinclair: So, we don't have a working bathroom.
Robbie: We live in a forest! There's nothing BUT bathrooms! Trees and bushes as far as the eye can see!
Fran Sinclair: Fine, if you won't fix it, I'll just call a plumber.
Robbie: Oh no, you're not spending my hard-earned money on some over-priced wrench jockey.
Fran Sinclair: Robbie!
Robbie: [Robbie confronts Earl at the miniature golf course] I am fed up! I HAVE HAD IT! I can't take it anymore! There's bills... and... and the taxes... and the baby... and...
Roy Hess: Maybe we should let the next foursome play through.
Earl: [Robbie is crying] There, there, son. I know exactly what you're trying to say. You have had a rough time being supreme male, what with the job and the household and the responsibilities way past your years.
Robbie: And the baby... hit me on the head... with a big heavy...
Earl: Round thing, yeah. And you want me to take over again as head of the household so you can go back to being the carefree teenager again. Is that right?
Robbie: Yes, Daddy.
Earl: Well forget it! Now get off my lane, I'm putting for birdie.
Robbie: But you have to take over!
Earl: Not a chance! I'm having the time of my life and nothing's gonna make me give it up.
P.A. Announcer: Earl Sinclair, more bad news. Your wife's here.
Roy Hess: Gee, this really is a family fun center.
Robbie: Mommy, tell him to be supreme male again.
Earl: Can't make me.
Fran Sinclair: Alright, that's enough from both of you.
Fran Sinclair: He can't handle the household, and it's time you started acting like an adult again.
Earl: Don't wanna!
Fran Sinclair: We're going right down to the Office of Male Supremecy and get you reinstated as head of the house.
Earl: [childishly] Why should I?
[Charlene stutters at Robbie; who is in a bad mood after his 30th day at work]
Robbie Sinclair: [annoyed] What?
Charlene Sinclair: Well, since you've been helping me with my homework, I've got a shot of getting my first B.
Robbie Sinclair: What is it?
Charlene Sinclair: So, I was wondering, could you help find the continent of Pangaea on this map?
[Charlene opens the map which shows the continent of Pangaea]
Robbie Sinclair: You're grounded for a week.
Charlene Sinclair: For what?
Robbie Sinclair: *Stupidity*!
Charlene Sinclair: You can't ground me for that!
Robbie Sinclair: Are we trying for a month?
Charlene Sinclair: Yeah, but...
[leaves in anger]
Charlene Sinclair: Oh, brothers! You are...
Robbie Sinclair: Hey, and shut that door! Do I have to air-condition the whole neighborhood?
[the door slams shut]