Philip Drummond: I wonder where Arnold wandered off to.
Kimberly Drummond: It's not like him to miss a good meal.
Philip Drummond: It's not like him to miss a bad meal.
Willis Jackson: Hey Dad, what a spread: quiche, steak, lobster, pork chops...
Philip Drummond: I still don't know how Mr. T got it all into one sandwich.
Stanley Pearlburg: [Mr. T picks Philip up and swings him over his head during a rehearsal] Perfect, throws him against the wall and he stomps on his head and he mashes his face!
Philip Drummond: Hold it, time! Would you put me down, please?
Mr. T: What's the problem?
Philip Drummond: I'm just afraid you'll strain yourself.
Mr. T: Are you kidding? My gold chains weigh more than you do!
Philip Drummond: If your mother isn't feeling better, you just take off all the time you need.
Pearl Gallagher: Oh thanks, fortunately it was nothing serious, but I still don't understand why she was riding around on that motorcycle.
Philip Drummond: Motorcycle?
Pearl Gallagher: Mm-hm, I always thought she meant her false teeth when she said she was having trouble with her choppers.
Arnold Jackson: I don't want anybody hanging around the actors and bugging them for autographs, that's my job!
Arnold Jackson: Wow, your cousin is a knockout!
Dudley Ramsey: She is? It's hard to tell when you're related.
Mr. T: You ready for me, Pearly?
Stanley Pearlburg: Not yet, Mr. T, why don't you go down and relax in your trailer?
Assistant Director: Yeah, go relax, T Baby.
Mr. T: You call me T Baby one more time, and I'm gonna break every bone in your pitiful little body.
Kimberly Drummond: He spoke to me! George Peppard actually spoke to me!
Angela: What did he say, Kimberly?
Kimberly Drummond: He said, 'move it, you're in my seat'!
Philip Drummond: Shouldn't I have makeup?
Stanley Pearlburg: Well you don't need it for rehearsal but go ahead if it's something you normally wear around the house.
Philip Drummond: Not really, oh maybe occasionally a little eyeliner.
Angela: Excuse me, Mr. T.
Mr. T: Well little lady, hello there.
Angela: I'm a big fan of yours and I was wondering if I could please sit with you at lunch.
Mr. T: Never let it be said that Mr. T said no to a irresistible lady.
Angela: You're the most handsome star on TV.
Mr. T: Aww, and you got brains too.
Mr. T: [comes in and sees Arnold dressed just like him] Well, what do we have here?
[circles around him]
Mr. T: Now this is what I call a real fan. Looks like we're Capital T and small t.
Angela: [to Arnold, who has given himself a Mohawk like Mr. T] I think that haircut looks stupid.
Mr. T: Hey watch it little lady!
Arnold Jackson: [looking at his Mohawk in the mirror] Oh they're right, I look ridiculous, like a porcupine died on my head.
Mr. T: [knocks and enters Arnold's bedroom] Can I come in, Little T?
Arnold Jackson: Sure, Big T.
Mr. T: I thought we might have a little talk, you know, like head to head.
Mr. T: I'm really flattered that you tried to look like me to impress that girl.
Arnold Jackson: I even glued some hair onto my chest.
[pulls his shirt open]
Mr. T: Wow, that's more than what I got!
Mr. T: If you want to get somewhere in life, or with a girl, you can't go around copying someone else. You've got to be your own original.
Arnold Jackson: That's easy for you to say, you've got a lot more to work with. You're like a mountain, I'm more like a speed bump.
Mr. T: I never met anybody like you before in the world, man you outrageous.
Arnold Jackson: You really think so?
Mr. T: Definitely, so just be yourself. But remember though, you can't force girls into liking you, of course I can, but that's another story.
Arnold Jackson: Then what should I do?
Mr. T: Do? Man don't do anything, if a girl don't like you
Mr. T: that's her loss, but I'm sure you'll find plenty that will.
Arnold Jackson: You really think so?
Mr. T: Hey, I'm positive. So you just be yourself, play it cool, and let the chicks fall where they may.
Mr. T: Now you come on downstairs and watch me film this scene. I'm gonna stomp on this guy, I'm gonna mash his head to the carpet, I'm gonna break off his legs.
Arnold Jackson: You're gonna do all that?
Mr. T: Yeah we're doing something new on The A-Team, less action and more heart.
Pearl Gallagher: Leave that man alone, you big bully!
[smashes a vase over Mr. T's head, he gets up and turns around]
Pearl Gallagher: Mr. T!
Stanley Pearlburg: Cut! Cut!
Mr. T: Hey! That wasn't a breakaway vase! This is!
[smashes another vase over his head]