The Dick Van Dyke Show: Season 3, Episode 11

Turtles, Ties, and Toreadors (4 Dec. 1963)

TV Episode  |  TV-G  |   |  Comedy, Family
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Rob hires a maid through the classifieds and ends up with a woman fresh from Barcelona who speaks no English, has a broken arm, and expects to work as a live-in.



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Title: Turtles, Ties, and Toreadors (04 Dec 1963)

Turtles, Ties, and Toreadors (04 Dec 1963) on IMDb 7.6/10

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Episode cast overview:
Sally Rogers (credit only)
Buddy Sorrell (credit only)
Larry Mathews ...
Alan Dexter ...
Immigration Officer
Tiny Brauer ...
Taxi Driver


Rob believes he is doing Laura a favor by hiring a maid for her through an employment agency. Laura, in turn, is frustrated that Rob knows nothing about who he hired or the details of her employment, let alone that Laura has not had a chance to clean up the house before the maid's imminent arrival. Laura's concerns are well founded as their young maid (Maria) - despite being a sweet woman - is fresh off the boat from Barcelona, speaks no English, doesn't seem to know how to do domestic work very well, has a broken arm, and was expecting to be a live-in maid, conversely having no friends or family to stay with in New York. Rob and Laura agree that she can't stay, but neither wants to be the one to terminate her employment, later learning that she will be deported if they do, so they agree to keep her until the agency can find her another job. Ultimately they may only be able to keep Maria for so long before the situation becomes unsustainable. Written by Huggo

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Comedy | Family






Release Date:

4 December 1963 (USA)  »

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Sound Mix:

Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1
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Did You Know?


In the tag scene, Rob brings home a turtle on which Maria painted Rob's, Laura's and Richie's faces. It faded out with a close-up of the turtle and Rob saying "as long as this turtle lives, we'll be immortal". This was a last-minute edit as the original line was "we look just like the Kennedys". John F. Kennedy was still alive when this was filmed, but not yet aired. It was still being prepared for broadcast when the president was assassinated, so broadcast was delayed a few weeks, and the line about the turtle's longevity was inserted. (Those who own the DVDs can see a splice mark in between the long shot of the family, and that of Rob's hands holding the turtle up close. The sound of his voice also sounds a bit different, betraying the fact that Dick Van Dyke looped in the line at the last minute.) See more »


Rob Petrie: [contacting the employment agency] Well, look, uh, she just isn't working out. Well... that... because you didn't mention a few little things, that's why.
Laura Petrie: Like she doesn't speak English.
Rob Petrie: Like she doesn't speak any English at all. And she's got a broken arm. Whadda you mean, why didn't I ask? Why should I ask about a bone?
See more »


Referenced in The Dick Van Dyke Show: Viva Petrie (1965) See more »

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