The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)
Baby Fat (1965)
Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie
Photos
Quotes
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Laura Petrie : Are you doing this because you're afraid of Alan?
Rob Petrie : No, I'm doin' it because I respect Alan Brady. A man of his caliber has great firing power.
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Alan Brady : Oh, R-Rob, it's hard to tell a... a writer that his stuff isn't funny.
Rob Petrie : You tell me that every week.
Alan Brady : D'oh, but you're a... you're a television writer.
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Rob Petrie : [deep in thought] Whadda ya want?
Laura Petrie : A divorce.
Rob Petrie : In a minute.
Laura Petrie : Shall I call the lawyer?
Rob Petrie : No, that's all right, honey. I'll call him.
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Rob Petrie : Yates is a Pulitzer prize-winning playwright.
Alan Brady : Well, he wrote a Pulitzer prize-winning bomb there.
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Laura Petrie : What happened to your jacket?
Rob Petrie : I was attacked by a bar of soap.
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Rob Petrie : Mr. Yates has written a play which is not very good.
Alan Brady : Rob, not in front of Mr. Ben.
Rob Petrie : [whispering] The play's weak. What am I whispering in front of a dog for?
Alan Brady : Because he's smart and he bites.
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Rob Petrie : Did I wake you up?
Laura Petrie : No, no, I was going to get up to see what all the noise was anyway.
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Laura Petrie : Harper Yates called and said he needs your help.
Rob Petrie : Really?
Laura Petrie : Mm hmm, he said he wants the dinner jacket he ordered by Tuesday.
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Alan Brady : Rob, there's a bomb in this office. Right here.
[hands Rob a script]
Rob Petrie : That's a play.
Alan Brady : No. It's a bomb.