Ed Ferrara: So, the pig actually eats the bacon?
Tom Scavo: Uh, huh, yeah.
Ed Ferrara: I don't see the client doing a happy dance over the whole cannibalism theme.
Lynette Scavo: Well, Tom, why don't you pitch him the other idea you came up with last night. You know the one where people love bacon so much they want to keep it a secret.
Ed Ferrara: What like a secret underground society of bacon eaters?
Tom Scavo: More like my college fraternity, where, you know, everybody wanted in, but we only took the coolest guys.
Ed Ferrara: You were Greek?
Tom Scavo: Alpha Tau Omega.
Ed Ferrara: I was Phi Kap.
Tom Scavo: You?
Ed Ferrara: And I don't remember you having to be that cool to pledge ATO.
Tom Scavo: Look, if I had a nickel for every Phi Kap that I tied to a freeway sign.
Ed Ferrara: Scavo, if you were my pledge, I would've made you my bitch.
Carlos: What, so you don't get what you want, you just walk off and pout?
Gabrielle: Oh, this isn't about me. This is about our great nation, and I have no intention of statisfying a man who isn't willing to stand up for and help spread the ideas and values of the United States of America.