[at dinner party with all the wives and their partners]
Bree: Rex cries after he ejaculates.
[Bree is compulsively fixing a button on Dr. Goldfine's jacket during their session]
Dr. Goldfine: I'm sure Freud would not approve of this.
Bree: Oh, who cares what he thinks. I took psychology in college. We learned all about Freud. A miserable human being.
Dr. Goldfine: What makes you say that?
Bree: Well, think about it. He grew up in the late 1800s. There were no appliances back then. His mother had to do everything by hand, just backbreaking work from sunup to sundown, not to mention the countless other sacrifices she probably had to make to take care of her family. And what does he do? He grows up and becomes famous, peddling a theory that the problems of most adults can be traced back to something awful their mother has done. She must have felt so betrayed. He saw how hard she worked. He saw what she did for him. Did he even ever think to say thank you? I doubt it.
Rex: [having an allergic reaction] You put onions in my salad?
Bree: No, I didn't!
[looks back at table]
Bree: Oh, wait.
Gabrielle Solis: And some people kiss their friends, it's like a high-five on the lips!
Mary Alice Young: [voice over narration] After I died, I began to surrender the parts of myself that were no longer necessary. My desires, beliefs, ambitions, doubts. Every trace of my humanity was discarded. I discovered, when moving through eternity, it helps to travel lightly. In fact, I held onto only one thing. My memory. It's astonishing to look back on the world I left behind. I remember it all. Every single detail. Like my friend, Bree Van De Kamp. I remember the easy confidence of her smile, the gentle elegance of her hands, the refined warmth of her voice...
Mary Alice Young: [voice over narration] ...But what I remember most about Bree...,
Bree: Rex, wasn't that a lovely...?
Mary Alice Young: [voice over narration] ...was the look of fear in her eyes. Bree had started to realize her world was unraveling. And for a woman who despised loose ends, that was unacceptable...
Bree: Oh, Rex, you look so tired.
Rex: I didn't sleep. This damn thing is so uncomfortable.
Bree: Well, why don't you move back upstairs, and sleep in my bed.
Rex: We're in marriage counseling, Bree. I think that would confuse things.
Bree: It's just... I miss you.
Rex: I know you do. Of course, if I don't start getting some sleep pretty soon, I'll be forced to move back upstairs out of sheer exhaustion.
Mary Alice Young: [narrating voice over] Yes, Bree was afraid of many things. But if there was one thing she wasn't afraid of..., it was a challenge.
Susan Mayer: How could we have all forgotten about this?
Lynette Scavo: We didn't exactly forget. It's just that usually when the hostess dies, the party is off.
Lynette Scavo: I'm not being flip, I'm just pointing out a reality.
Lynette Scavo: [to Tom] Throw a dinner party? I don't even have time to wash my face!
Susan Mayer: Lynette?
Lynette Scavo: I'm in.
Bree: I'll make braised lamb shanks.
Lynette Scavo: I'm still in.
Carlos Solis: [to Gabrielle] You know what your problem is? You're very tense. You should go to a spa, or go shopping. Find a way to relax.
Gabrielle Solis: [on the phone to John] Well, get here as fast as you can. My husband I need to relax.
Rex: So these "tennis lessons" we're taking. How are we doing?
Bree: My back hand is improving immensely, but you're still having problems with your serve.
Rex: Of course.
Susan Mayer: You can afford a cabin, but you can't scrape up child support?
Karl Mayer: The check is in the mail.
Susan Mayer: Uh...
Susan Mayer: No, it's not.
Zach Young: Maybe when you die, I won't put in an obituary.
Paul Young: That will be your choice to make. Assuming you outlive me.
Mrs. Bukowski: [about Ashley] She's shy. She doesn't say much.
Ashley Bukowski: Yeah, but I can see her little mind working away.
Karl Mayer: The heart wants what it wants!
Susan Mayer: Yeah, well, my heart wants to hurt you, but I can control myself!
Karl Mayer: I don't want to go back to that ugly place, really, and if you do, I suggest you get some help.
Susan Mayer: You know what? I don't need an apology! I don't need anything from you!
Karl Mayer: You're humiliating yourself!
Susan Mayer: No, you're the one who's been humiliated, Karl. Why don't you see that? You walked out on your family! People think you're scum, not me! So worry about yourself! I'm okay with me!
[barefoot and wearing only a towel and talking to Karl whose in the car]
Susan Mayer: I can walk down the street and hold my head high!
[She accidentally gets her towel caught on the door as she slams it, and he drives off leaving Susan standing naked as she gasps]
Susan Mayer: Oh!
[Susan looks around, whimpers, and runs to her door with embarrassment and it's locked]
Susan Mayer: Oh!
[Susan hides behind the porch's support beam embarrassed]
Mary Alice Young: [narrating voice over] As the sun slowly settled on Wisteria Lane, an unsettled Susan racked her brain to find a way into her own house.
[Susan holds the plant in front of her naked body and sidesteps her way down the steps and toward the garden shed on the left side of the house which is also locked. She tiptoes to the window and tries to open it, but it's stuck. She puts the plant down and uses two hands to open it, but slips and falls on her back into her shrubs]
Mary Alice Young: [narrating voice over] Lying naked in her shrubs, it occurred to Susan that this could be the most humiliating moment of her life.
[Mike walks by and notices her naked in the shrubs]
Mike Delfino: Susan?
Mary Alice Young: [narrating voice over] She was wrong.
Mike Delfino: [averting his eyes and grinning] Uh...whatcha' doing?
Susan Mayer: Locked myself out...naked.
Mike Delfino: Oh.
Susan Mayer: And then I fell.
[crosses her legs]
Susan Mayer: So how are you?
Mike Delfino: Good, good. I just got back. I've been gone all day, and I got your message about dinner, and, um, I would love to come if the invite still stands.
Susan Mayer: It's a date.
Mike Delfino: Alright, I um, assume the dress is, uh, casual.
Susan Mayer: Yeah, it's...it's casual.
[Mike nods, grinning as he walks off. Susan squeals and covers herself with the plants]
Susan Mayer: Thanks for helping me break in. Do you think it's gonna be hard to replace that screen?
Mike Delfino: Well that depends. If you nail it in yourself, you might wanna wear gloves. Or pants. Pants wouldn't hurt.
Susan Mayer: Okay. I know what just happened is funny, in theory, but I am nowhere near ready to laugh about it. So, please, no jokes.
Bree: [opens the front door] Hey, where have you two been?
Mike Delfino: Um, Susan had a problem finding something to wear
[stifles his laughter]
Mike Delfino: . Oh, was that the kinda thing you meant?
Susan Mayer: Pretty much.
Rex: We're not really taking tennis lessons, Carlos.
Carlos Solis: You're not?
Rex: It's a story Bree concocted to cover the fact we're seeing a marriage counselor.
[Bree drops tray of food]
Rex: Bree! Bree!
[She takes his glass of wine]
Rex: He wouldn't stop asking about the tennis pro!
Rex: Bree and I are in marriage counseling.
Rex: Everyone knows our little secret now. Did the sky fall? Has your life come crashing down?
Susan Mayer: Listen, Mike, about the whole 'seeing me naked' thing. I, I just want to thank you for being such a perfect gentleman.
Mike Delfino: Oh, I wasn't a perfect gentleman, I might have snuck a peek.
Susan Mayer: Oh, goodnight!
Mike Delfino: And for what it's worth, wow.
Carlos Solis: [to Gabrielle, about Bree] I'd probably cry too if I had to have sex with that woman.
Tom Scavo: [to Lynette] Listen, the kids are watching a video, which means we've got only about forty five minutes until they actually find Nemo...
Mary Alice Young: [narrating voice over] Yes, I remember the world, every detail. And what I remember most is how afraid I was
[shot of Bree holding Mary Alice's audio tape]
Mary Alice Young: . What a waste.
[Bree looks out the window]
Mary Alice Young: You see, to live in fear is not to live at all. I wish I could tell this to those I left behind.
[shot of Gabrielle and John sleeping in bed together]
Mary Alice Young: But would it do any good? Probably not
[Gabrielle looks out the window]
Mary Alice Young: . I understand now. There will always be those who face their fears
[shot of Susan looking through pictures, she looks out the window]
Mary Alice Young: . And there will always be those... who run away
[shot of Paul hammering a "For Sale" sign into the yard of his house]