Al Swearengen: [after Doc Cochran walks into Al's office without knocking] Walk in unannounced is a good way to get yourself killed, Doc, especially as the cavalry has us besieged.
Doc Cochran: I'm here about the minister. He's over at my place, past my art if I had any. He's damn near blind, mostly paralyzed. Past controlling his functions.
Al Swearengen: Well, you're preachin' to the fuckin' converted. Me, I would've seen to him, but... I've been fuckin' busy.
Doc Cochran: Well, he doesn't wanna be seen to like that.
Al Swearengen: What the fuck are we talkin' about?
Doc Cochran: A man being cared for and made comfortable 'til he expires. Girls you put to the task, deduct your time from my pay.
Al Swearengen: I get the bag of shit.
Doc Cochran: You get to care for a human being in his last extremity.
Al Swearengen: A human being in his last extremity IS a bag of shit.
Doc Cochran: [suddenly furious] AW, FUCK YOU, AL!
[Al turns and stares at Cochran in surprise]
Al Swearengen: I'll send someone over to pick him up.
Seth Bullock: I'll be the fucking sheriff.
Al Swearengen: Starting when?
Seth Bullock: Starting now.
Al Swearengen: You have the tin?
Seth Bullock: I do.
Al Swearengen: Produce it.
[Seth stands up, and pulls out the badge]
Al Swearengen: On the tit.
Seth Bullock: I know where it goes.
[Jewel and Doc are dancing together]
Jewel: Say 'I'm as nimble as a forest creature.'
Doc Cochran: You're as nimble as a forest creature.
Jewel: No, say it about yourself.
Doc Cochran: I'm as nimble as a forest creature.
Al Swearengen: Announcing your plans is a good way to hear God laugh.
Sol Star: I'm sensing you've done things today you wish you could amend, Seth.
Seth Bullock: What kind of man have I become, Sol?
Sol Star: I don't know. The day ain't fucking over.
Seth Bullock: [after beating Alma's father] Leave this camp. And draw a map for anyone who wants to believe your fucking lies. Anyone wants to put your daughter or her holdings in jeopardy, you show 'em how to get here. And you tell 'em I'll be waiting.
[Seth storms into the Gem and confronts Dan at the bar]
Seth Bullock: I don't care if the whole U.S. cavalry walks in here, you don't wanna pour another drink. You just wanna listen to me, 'cause if the man doesn't die whose face I just broke, he's gonna go to New York City and tell Brom Garret's people it breaks his heart to say so, but his daughter had their son murdered. He'll tell 'em. Knowin' how he does they won't want their son's rightful property in the hands of the woman who killed him, he'll swear to what he heard from her own lips, and those society people in New York City, who live with their heads up their asses anyway, will believe him. And whoever they send out here may take up to fifteen minutes before they decide that you were involved in the transaction first to last; it must've been you and your boss she hired to push her idiot husband off the cliff. 'Course, they'll be wrong about Mrs. Garret, but they'll be right as rain about you two cocksuckers. You tell him all that upstairs.
Dan Dority: [calmly] If he don't die.
Seth Bullock: If he don't die. I don't think I killed him.
Dan Dority: Just so I understand you... if he don't die... you're sayin' the man's luck don't have to hold out. Now that's the message you want me to take upstairs.
Seth Bullock: I don't swim in that shit.
[Dan smiles and nods at the sheriff's badge in Seth's hand]
Dan Dority: You oughta pin that on your chest. You're hypocrite enough to wear it.
Seth Bullock: You just tell him.
E.B. Farnum: [as Russell leaves the hotel] Antemeridian constitutional, Mr. Russell? Or will we roll the bones again?
Otis Russell: It must cost you sleep. The guests you drive off, the chances of thievin' and bilkin' you lose, needing to rub against your betters.
[he smiles and heads for the door, but before he can walk out, Seth confronts him in a barely concealed rage]
Seth Bullock: You and I are gonna talk.
Otis Russell: You don't account for my preferences, Mr. Bullock?
Seth Bullock: I will beat you here in the street.
Otis Russell: First-rate thinking.
[he steps around Seth and begins walking; Seth follows him]
Otis Russell: My daughter's agent beats her father in the street. How better to condemn Alma to deepened suspicion as to her role in her husband's violent death, and widen suspicion to include yourself? Shoot craps, Mr. Bullock?
[they head into the Bella Union, as everyone in town watches or follows them in. E.B. grabs his hat and heads for the door]
E.B. Farnum: [to Richardson] I know what's in the till.
[Russell and Seth walk over to Eddie's craps table]
Otis Russell: Were you bullied, Mr. Bullock, when young and incapable? And now you see wrongs everywhere and bullying you feel called to remedy?
[he throws some money down on the table]
Otis Russell: Ten, lay due.
Eddie Sawyer: New shooter, comin' out.
Otis Russell: The bully who oppressed your youth isn't at the table with us. Perhaps he's long dead.
[he rolls the dice]
Eddie Sawyer: Eight, point is eight.
Otis Russell: If you would view the present with more clarity, perhaps you'd recognize that I'm not victimizing my daughter but merely asking for a small portion of the ample proceeds from her vein.
[he rolls again]
Eddie Sawyer: Seven out.
Otis Russell: Alma is hurt only in your particular view of things. Ten again, lay due.
[he slaps some more money on the table, staring straight at Seth this time]
Otis Russell: And while I'll sign no guarantee not to return, or against any future claim on her compassion, realize I do hate it here. And if you inhale and expel pure righteousness, my olfactories are keen to the smell of shit.
[he rolls again]
Eddie Sawyer: Six, the point is six.
Otis Russell: Having heard all that, and knowing, as you must, the injudiciousness of making an enemy of a man who could testify truthfully that five minutes before her marriage, he heard his daughter wish her prospective husband dead, and who won't shrink from lying as to what she admitted to him on his arrival in this cesspool as to her complicity in her husband's murder... I suppose you'd best take your swing.
[Seth looks at him for a moment, then punches him in the face, knocking him to the floor]
Eddie Sawyer: [not upset at all] Gentlemen, watch the felt.
[Seth begins savagely beating Russell]
Sol Star: Seth!
[he keeps going]
Sol Star: Seth!
[he keeps going]
Sol Star: Seth!
[Seth finally stands up]
Seth Bullock: All right. Leave this this camp, and draw a map for anyone who wants to believe your fuckin' lies. Anyone who wants to put your daughter or her holdings in jeopardy, you show 'em how to get here. And you tell 'em I'll be waiting.