Al Swearengen: [Dolly sticks her thumb in Al's ass] Oh! Now, I'm halfway thinking this exaggerates the condition rather than alleviates it. If I might should query the Doc, but then that cocksucker will only ask after gleets.
Al Swearengen: Oh my God.
[Al tries to move away, but Dolly scoots after him and keeps her thumb in his ass]
Al Swearengen: Take it out. Take it out. Remove your fucking thumb.
[Dolly finally removes her thumb]
Al Swearengen: Why, if I was moving forward to get away from you, would you have fucking pursued me? When I stopped, pressed on yourself to drive your thumb into my intestine?
Johnny Burns: Either Al got God, or Dolly just stuck her thumb back up his ass.
[while working late at night in his cabin, Doc Cochran hears a thud, followed by Calamity Jane yelling at the passersby]
Calamity Jane: OW! Keep your fuckin' distance! Remain on your side of the street! Do not interfere with me in any way! Chinese cocksuckers! Ugh, Jesus...
[Cochran comes out of his cabin to find a drunken Jane lying in the mud next to her horse, her foot tangled in the stirrup]
Doc Cochran: Well, you are an entangled inebriate, are you not?
Calamity Jane: [slurring her words] This happens to be a rig and contraption of my own devising against repeated accidental falls that has temporarily malfunctioned.
Doc Cochran: Very well knotted.
[he begins untying her]
Calamity Jane: I'm back in camp, Cochran, 'cause I'm dyin', and I need a place to breathe my fuckin' last. And not for no human aid or consolation.
[Cochran struggles to untie the knot]
Calamity Jane: Jesus Christ, you're bad with your hands! If I wasn't practically fuckin' dead, I'd reach that knife and cut myself free.
[she grunts slightly]
Calamity Jane: Yeah, I just farted, so what?
[Cochran pulls the aforementioned knife out of a saddlebag]
Calamity Jane: Hey, hey hey!
[she grabs the knife out of his hands]
Calamity Jane: Don't you disarm me, you cocksucker! Lift me up so I can cut myself free!
[he gets behind Jane to pull her up by the armpits]
Doc Cochran: All right, ready?
[he lifts her up, and Jane cuts the rope that held her in place]
Doc Cochran: All right now, get under here.
[he lifts Jane to her feet by her armpits as she groans drunkenly]
Doc Cochran: Step inside and let me examine you. Even if you are past help, enhancing my understanding may allow others to benefit from your mortal illness.
Calamity Jane: Do you mock me, cocksucker?
Doc Cochran: No. Come on inside.
Doc Cochran: All right. There we go.
[he throws Jane's arm over his shoulder and walks her to the door]
Calamity Jane: [slurring her words again] Promise when I'm dead, you'll plant me with a view of where Bill is.
Al Swearengen: The entire area of my fucking asshole is now one gigantic fucking throb. I have no idea what's transpiring in there.
Dolly: Shall I suck your prick?
Al Swearengen: Please.