Al Swearengen: [about Hearst] He must think I'm a fucking dog, forgives the blow first friendly scratch at the ear.
[Alma is called Mrs. Garret by a bank customer]
Alma Garret: Since you can read, you may wish to examine my name plate.
Calamity Jane: Where would the stage be?
Joanie Stubbs: I dont know.
Calamity Jane: Yeah I don't know either.
Seth Bullock: I'm not a godamn errand boy. To mule this thing back and forth.
Trixie: A lot of shitbags hang around the bank. You ever fuckin notice.
Tom Nuttall: Your plans are idiotic. You're running for Sheriff to be a fireman.
Al Swearengen: Another fuckin' invite. Fuckin' Hearst must take me for an optimist.
Dan Dority: I'm gonna kill that cocksucker.
Al Swearengen: All in good time.
Al Swearengen: Tell me who you want in the election.
Dolly: Star for Mayor and Harry Manning for Sheriff.
Al Swearengen: Star for Mayor and Bullock for fucking Sheriff.
Dolly: Bullock yells at you.
Al Swearengen: Get out. Shut up and get out.
E.B. Farnum: Trailing clouds of glory.
Hotel Patron: Do you read Wordsworth?
E.B. Farnum: I do not, Madam, no. How do you come to ask?
Hotel Patron: You've just quoted him.
E.B. Farnum: Well, I have a digest from which I memorize, supressing the author's names. Enjoy your supper.
E.B. Farnum: When will I raise courage to search that woman's room?
Calamity Jane: This succeeds, Bullock, what you're trying to work out here, I will doff hat to you and no fucking mistake.
Charlie Utter: Just don't let her take off her boots.
Al Swearengen: Fuckin' cold in here anyway.
Dolly: You want a blanket?
Al Swearengen: If I do, I'll put it round me. You ain't the boss of the fuckin' bedclothes.
Dan Dority: You know you hurt my feelings.
Al Swearengen: Dan.
Dan Dority: That's the long and short of it, Al. You fucking pick Adams to represent you, you hurt my feelings and that is the fucking matter's end.
Al Swearengen: It's not the fucking hour. It's not the fucking vantage of the chair. It's you, that's changed the level of you suction somehow. That's the fucking sum and substance of it.
Dolly: Maybe if I get on my knees?
Al Swearengen: You're the cocksucker. Change the fucking angle.
Calamity Jane: Any fucking domicile but the graveyard suits me fine. Don't you worry about me. I got things taken care of over here.
Joanie Stubbs: I don't know either. But I do know you're welcome wherever I go.
Joanie Stubbs: I wish once I could care for those little ones. Just once instead of doin' what I did.