Host: Welcome once again to another thrilling episode of "Danger Theatre", the show that dares to show crime as it really is - very unpleasant. First up tonight, The Searcher rides his mighty hog into the world of high fashion.
[speaking to a production assistant off-camera]
Host: What? He's really riding a pig now?
Off-Camera Production Assistant: No. A 'hog' is a motorcycle.
Host: Motorcycle? Ah, that's very interesting. Well, curtain up. It's time for "Danger Theatre".
The Searcher: Tell me about your problem.
Charlotte Rave: It all started, ah, about a month ago. Drawings started disappearing and garments were slashed... mannequins were mutilated.
The Searcher: Sounds terrifying. Is Darlene seeing anyone right now?
Charlotte Rave: What? What does that have to do with my problem?
The Searcher: Nothing. It just has something to do with *my* problem.
Oscar De La Gavant: Do you know where you are?
The Searcher: A disgusting, filthy sewer - but I love what you've done with it.
Capt. Mike Morgan: Good work, Detective McCormick, but be gentle. She may be a cold-blooded killer, but she's still a little lady.
Martine De Pourtales: Oh, up yours, cop!
Capt. Mike Morgan: Cuff her and gag her, Tom! Let her tell her tortured tale to someone who cares.
Host: Remember, kids, when you're in Hawaii, keep you money in your wallet, not on top the bar. Join us next week, same time, same station... same crummy set.
Off-Camera Production Assistant: Don't knock the set.
Host: Well, you could paint it, for god's sake. Pop for a few plants.
Off-Camera Production Assistant: Just say good night.
Host: Good night... and good night from "Danger Theatre", where they won't even spring for a can of paint.