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[first lines]

Host: Welcome once again to another thrilling episode of "Danger Theatre", the show that dares to show crime as it really is - very unpleasant. First up tonight, The Searcher rides his mighty hog into the world of high fashion.

[speaking to a production assistant off-camera]

Host: What? He's really riding a pig now?

Off-Camera Production Assistant: No. A 'hog' is a motorcycle.

Host: Motorcycle? Ah, that's very interesting. Well, curtain up. It's time for "Danger Theatre".

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The Searcher: Tell me about your problem.

Charlotte Rave: It all started, ah, about a month ago. Drawings started disappearing and garments were slashed... mannequins were mutilated.

The Searcher: Sounds terrifying. Is Darlene seeing anyone right now?

Charlotte Rave: What? What does that have to do with my problem?

The Searcher: Nothing. It just has something to do with *my* problem.

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Oscar De La Gavant: Do you know where you are?

The Searcher: A disgusting, filthy sewer - but I love what you've done with it.

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Capt. Mike Morgan: Good work, Detective McCormick, but be gentle. She may be a cold-blooded killer, but she's still a little lady.

Martine De Pourtales: Oh, up yours, cop!

Capt. Mike Morgan: Cuff her and gag her, Tom! Let her tell her tortured tale to someone who cares.

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[last lines]

Host: Remember, kids, when you're in Hawaii, keep you money in your wallet, not on top the bar. Join us next week, same time, same station... same crummy set.

Off-Camera Production Assistant: Don't knock the set.

Host: Well, you could paint it, for god's sake. Pop for a few plants.

Off-Camera Production Assistant: Just say good night.

Host: Good night... and good night from "Danger Theatre", where they won't even spring for a can of paint.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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