Sue Ellen Ewing: You do have a way of popping up at the oddest times.
Cliff Barnes: Like a defective toaster?
J.R. Ewing: What do you want out of this, Mr. Haynes?
Ed Haynes: Pamela.
J.R. Ewing: Well I'm afraid you got the wrong Mr. Ewing. You see, my brother Bobby is married to Pamela. But I wanna assure you I will help you to see that justice is done. The Ewings would never turn their backs on a veteran.
Aunt Maggie Monahan: [about Digger Barnes] I never knew a man to fall asleep standing up and looking right at you.
Digger Barnes: Geologists... they couldn't find oil in a filling station.