Curb Your Enthusiasm (TV Series)

The Bowtie (2005)

Larry David: Larry David

Photos 

Quotes 

• Man #2 in Bathroom : [Larry skips a line of men to use a bathroom handicap stall]  Hey, whaddya think you're doing?

  Larry David : I'm g-g-g-g-going to the b-b-b-b-ba-ba-bathroom!

  Man #2 in Bathroom : I don't think so, that's a handicap stall.

  Larry David : I have a s-s-s-s-s-s-stutter, you p-p-p-p-p-p-pricks!

  [All the men in line yell at Larry angrily] 

  Larry David : All right, fine, okay.

  [leaves the bathroom] 

• Larry David : [about Lesbians]  I'm their biggest supporter!

  Marty Funkhouser : You're their biggest supporter?

  Larry David : Yeah.

  Marty Funkhouser : Well, then they're in a lot of trouble.

• Omar Jones : ...Muslims are very forgiving people.

  Larry David : They are?

  Omar Jones : Yes, we are. We're very forgiving.

  Larry David : Wh-what?

  Omar Jones : Well, it's true.

  Larry David : There's a lot of meshugena Muslims out running around, are there not?

• Larry David : [Larry wore a bowtie to a formal dinner party]  Excuse me... excuse me! Can you guys keep it down a little bit? We can't hear the waiter, and we're trying to order.

  Loud Man at Party : [incredulously]  Keep it *down*?

  Larry David : We're trying to hear the waiter.

  Loud Man at Party : Man, I'm trying to have a good time with my family over here, we're trying... you know what I mean? Not keepin' it down...

  [turning to his table sarcastically] 

  Loud Man at Party : I'm sorry, we need to keep it down for Tucker Carlson over here.

• Larry David : Hey... um, I think I want to go home. Let's go home.

  Cheryl David : No! We haven't even had dessert yet.

  Larry David : So what? We don't need dessert. Come on.

  Cheryl David : Well, it's rude. You stay for dessert.

  Larry David : Oh, so what? Dessert, it's no big deal, we can just go. Come on.

  Cheryl David : Why do you want to go home?

  Larry David : I need to use the bathroom.

  Cheryl David : [incredulously]  So go use the bathroom.

  Larry David : I don't want to use this bathroom. I want my own.

  Cheryl David : Why?

  Larry David : This project demands I get back to my base. I need my base.

  Cheryl David : [exasperated]  We're not going home for you to...

  Jeff Greene : What's the matter?

  Cheryl David : Larry wants to go home to use the bathroom. It's like...

  Larry David : Hey Cheryl, what do you, need to tell the whole table? Why don't you get up and make an announcement?

  Jeff Greene : What, like you've never done that with me at lunch? It's the craziest thing in the world.

  Cheryl David : It's ridiculous. He can use THIS bathroom.

  Larry David : You, you're a Gentile, you'd go in the middle of 5th Avenue. It's different for Jews!

• Marty Funkhouser : [referring to his lesbian daughter's new boyfriend]  I said, "Dan, this is Larry David." Then I left you.

  Larry David : And I said "Hi", I said "Hello." I said "Hi Dan"...

  Marty Funkhouser : Yeah... yeah... yeah, what else?

  Larry David : You know, little small talk, "how, how you doin', where you from" and all that...

  Marty Funkhouser : That's it?

  Larry David : ...and then what did I say, I said, "It must be hard, as a guy, to follow..."

  Marty Funkhouser : Why didn't you just say, "Hello, Dan. I'm Larry. Nice to meet you."

  Larry David : I said that. I said "hi" and then I said that.

  Marty Funkhouser : What is wrong with you?

  Larry David : Problem?

  Marty Funkhouser : Yeah, problem! Now she's back with a woman!

  Larry David : [referring to the lesbian patrons in the restaurant]  No wonder why they're all being so nice to me in there! They're all smiling at me. Of course, it makes perfect sense.

  Marty Funkhouser : I want to say something else - you left my party before dessert! How can you do that? It's not proper etiquette.

  Larry David : I don't subscribe to the "wait for dessert" rule before you can leave a party.

  Marty Funkhouser : No one cares what you subscribe to, okay? We were trying to recreate what happened 25 years ago, and I said "Larry, would you like to make a toast?" And someone said, "Larry went home to take a shit."

• Larry David : This project demands I get back to my base.