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(TV Series)

(1995)

Quotes

Penny Tompkins: Momma, I'm scared of Peter Pan!

Alice Tompkins: We all are, Honey.

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William Shatner: Hello-I'm-William-Shatner-and-this-is-"Celebrity 911." Tonight-we-devote-the-entire-hour-to-police-calls-involving-James-Caan...

[makes face]

William Shatner: CAAN!

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Jay Sherman: [to son on phone] And remember, you don't have to listen to your stomach.

Jay's Stomach: What was that hogwash you were feedin' the boy?

Jay Sherman: Nothing, Master, I, I said nothing.

Jay's Stomach: Very well. Now dance for me!

[dances to Arabian tune]

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Fat Camp Counselor: [disappointed] You've lost two pounds.

Jay Sherman: Yes! Back to my college weight!

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[in "Speed Reading" movie]

Dennis Hopper: All right, hotshot! You think you're so smart? Let's see you read this book!

Keanu Reeves: Bogus!

Dennis Hopper: If you read under fifty words a minute, this book explodes! Ready? Begin!

[activates bomb]

Keanu Reeves: One... f-f-fish. "Twoah"... oh, no, TWO... f-f-f... oh, FISH! Red... f-f-f...

Dennis Hopper: It's 'fish,' you idiot! FISH!

Keanu Reeves: Dude, now I lost my place!

[book explodes and destroys building]

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Jean-Paul LePope: In my next film, Joe Piscopo and I play Siamese twins joined at the tongues. It's called

[gagging]

Jean-Paul LePope: "Part 2".

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Marty Sherman: But I can't act!

Drama Teacher: [chuckles] That's what a young Steve Guttenberg told me, und look at him now! eh, No, look at him four years ago.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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