[Jay dreams he's in Jurassic Park]
Jay Sherman: Help, help! Or at least put me in a better Spielberg movie!
Jay Sherman: Hello, and welcome to "Coming Attractions." Tonight we'll be reviewing "Barney the Dinosaur: The Motion Picture." Just look who got $10 million to play Barney!
Marlon Brando: This is so humiliating. You know I had to lose 100 pounds to play a dinosaur? Can't even see through the eyeholes on this thing.
[He bumps into a wall and falls down. All the kids laugh]
Kid: Hey! Barney's being funny!
Marlon Brando: No, I'm not. I don't do comedy. Not since "The Freshman," that piece of crap. I don't know what I was thinking, making that picture, let me tell you.
Franklin: Good news, son. I've found the perfect mate for you. Her name is Barbie and she's from Malibu. Now, she has a boyfriend named Ken, but he's not much of a man,
Franklin: ...I checked.
Eleanor: Franklin, my life is an endless grey corridor.
Franklin: Hmm, I've been there too. Usually there's a midget making googly eyes at me. I call him Mr. Picolini.
Franklin: There's a reason there's a banana in my ear. I'm trying to lure the monkey out of my head.