Corner Gas (TV Series)
Ruby Reborn (2004)
Fred Ewanuick: Hank Yarbo
Photos
Quotes
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[first lines of the series]
Brent LeRoy : Want me to fill it up?
Man : Sure. You know I've never driven across Saskatchewan before.
Brent LeRoy : Well, you still haven't really. About halfway to go yet.
Man : Sure is flat.
Brent LeRoy : How do you mean?
Man : You know, flat. Nothing to see.
Brent LeRoy : What do you mean, like topographically? Hey Hank, this guy says Saskatchewan is flat.
Hank Yarbo : How do you mean?
Brent LeRoy : Topographically I guess. He says there's nothin' to see.
Hank Yarbo : There's lots to see. There's nothin' to block your view.
Brent LeRoy : There's lots to see. Nothin' to block your view. Like the mountains back there. They're uh... Well, what the hell? I could've sworn there was a big mountain range back there. Juttin' up into the sky all purple and majestic. I must be thinkin' of a postcard I saw or somethin'. Hey, it is kinda flat, thanks for pointin' that out.
Man : You guys always this sarcastic?
Brent LeRoy : There's nothin' else to do.
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Hank Yarbo : [upon seeing the changes to the coffee shop] What the hell did she do to this place?
Brent LeRoy : Here we go. Would ya settle down Hank? It's just a little different.
Hank Yarbo : Different? We're in the seventh circle of Hell here! Look, look at this, where's the old clear salt and pepper shakers? I mean you can't see inside these ones, how are you supposed to know which is which?
Emma Leroy : One shaker's black and one shaker's white.
Brent LeRoy : Take a leap of faith.
Hank Yarbo : What if it's a trick?
Wanda Dollard : Then shake some on your hand first.
Hank Yarbo : That's unsanitary.
Brent LeRoy : I've seen you eat gum off your shoe.
Hank Yarbo : What's that got to do with anything?
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Hank Yarbo : Hey Wanda, what do you know about this Lacey?
Wanda Dollard : I know she doesn't have cataracts, so you don't have a chance.
Brent LeRoy : Scorch!
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Hank Yarbo : [referring to the changes to the coffee shop] I'm gonna fight this.
Emma Leroy : It's her place, she can do what she wants with it.
Hank Yarbo : Well, I got two words for you; boycott. I'm gonna put this place out of business.
Brent LeRoy : Hank, if you had the power to put companies out of business by just not being a customer, why am I still able to buy mouthwash?
Wanda Dollard : Yeah, and deodorant.
Emma Leroy : Clean underwear.
Brent LeRoy : Books.
Wanda Dollard : Pants that fit.
Emma Leroy : Nail clippers.
Brent LeRoy : Dandruff shampoo.
Wanda Dollard : Um... dental floss.
Emma Leroy : Toilet paper.
Oscar Leroy : Pick-up trucks.
Brent LeRoy : You don't know what we're doing, do you, Dad?
Oscar Leroy : Shut up!
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Hank Yarbo : [about Lacey] Is it so unreasonable to be curious about a new person in town? Does she have a criminal record? That's a reasonable question. Does she do drugs? That's a valid inquiry.
Brent LeRoy : Maybe she doesn't want us in the coffee shop 'cause she's turning the whole place into a methamphetamine lab. Get the kids hooked on the meth and the crack cocaine, 'cause once they're hooked on that, you know what's next: marijuana. Then jazz music. Forget about it.
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[front page of the Dog River Howler, headline: "Big City Woman Destroys Local Landmark". Sub-headline: "What kind of name is Lacey?"]
Lacey : [entering, reading the newspaper] Well, that's fair.
Brent LeRoy : Yeah. Hi, Lacey. I was kinda hoping you wouldn't see this.
Wanda Dollard : The guy who runs the paper's just desperate for a story. You're the biggest news to hit town since that little space rock landed in Anderson's farm.
Brent LeRoy : Killed one of his chickens.
[front page of the Dog River Howler, headline: "Death From Above"]
Brent LeRoy : He tends to sensationalize. So don't panic, it's not that bad.
Lacey : Oh yeah, I suppose. I mean they could have run a photo of me in a Hitler moustache tossing puppies into a wood chipper.
Hank Yarbo : Does such a photo exist?