Lacey Burrows: Hey, I got saddled with writing a blurb for the town plaque. Do you guys know how Dog River got its name?
Constable Karen Pelly: It's Dog River because from way up in the sky the river is shaped like a dog's leg, so the pioneers called it Dog River.
Lacey Burrows: The pioneers had an aerial view?
Constable Karen Pelly: Oh, yeah. They built aerial silos with... okay, I made it up.
Sergeant Davis Quinton: Well, it's simple, Lacey. The first Europeans to settle the area called it Dagsarivija after their village in the old country. Some northern European language.
Lacey Burrows: Danish?
Sergeant Davis Quinton: No, thanks. I had breakfast at home.
[Oscar thinks a famous country singer stole a song idea from him]
Oscar Leroy: Listen, I pay your taxes! I want you to go to that concert and arrest Dewey Macleod!
Constable Karen Pelly: Sorry, Oscar. You waited too long to report any malfeasance.
Sergeant Davis Quinton: Yeah. Plus it never happened.
Constable Karen Pelly: Plus copyright infringement is a civil matter.
Sergeant Davis Quinton: Plus Saskatoon's out of our jurisdiction.
Oscar Leroy: Stupid pluses!
[Thunderface - Brent, Wanda, and Hank's high school rock band - rehearses for the first time since 1986]
Hank Yarbo: That is so totally awesome to play again! Totally awesome!
Wanda Dollard: He is totally saying "awesome" too much.
Brent LeRoy: I know. Gag me.
Lacey Burrows: How did Dog River get its name?
Emma Leroy: Oh, I think I heard something about that once, but I don't remember it.
Lacey Burrows: Oh. I want to put it on the town plaque.
Emma Leroy: Oh, really? You don't want to bother with that. It's a dull story.
Lacey Burrows: I thought you said you couldn't remember it.
Emma Leroy: I don't. That's how dull it is.
[Thunderface plays at the hotel bar]
Oscar Leroy: Not my cup of tea.
Sergeant Davis Quinton: Not a fan of rock and roll, eh?
Oscar Leroy: It's just too derivative of the heavy glam rock of the '80s.
Emma Leroy: Totally!
Oscar Leroy: Play some B.T.O. or something!
Brent LeRoy: You know what's really depressing?
Wanda Dollard: That I just agreed with Hank about something?
Brent LeRoy: That's peculiar and unnerving.
Oscar Leroy: [talking about the song that he wrote that apparently a country singer has stolen off him] Mona the Monkey? Errol the Squirrel?
Lacey Burrows: Casper the Ghost, Dennis the Menace.
Constable Karen Pelly: Tony the Tiger.
Sergeant Davis Quinton: Winnie the Pooh.
Lacey Burrows: Soup of the day.
Oscar Leroy: You're all smart! Maybe Tony the Pooh doesn't know when he's being ripped off. You ever think about that?
Lacey Burrows: Maybe just half a cup for you today.
Brent LeRoy: [to Hank] Let me guess: you're broke.
Hank Yarbo: What makes you say that?
Wanda Dollard: Because you're staring at the cash the way Hank stares at cash.
Wanda Dollard: Oh my God. You've become your own metaphor.
Lacey Burrows: [about Thunderface] I thought you said they were good.
Paul: No, I said I loved them. They're hysterical!