- Emma Leroy: [to Lacey, referring to choosing someone to show the new doctor around Dog River] You're our first choice.
- [cut scene to everyone else in town saying no]
- Lacey: First choice?
- Karen Pelly: You're not the bottom of the barrel in any way here, Lacey.
- Davis: Top of the barrel, definitely...
- Emma Leroy: Stop talking.
- Oscar Leroy: [about Hank, who's staying with the Leroy's for a while] I'm not sure I like this. Some weirdo living in my house, taking up space.
- Emma Leroy: Welcome to my world.
- Oscar Leroy: [to Hank] You've been very helpful.
- Emma Leroy: Having you around means that Oscar and I will be able to spend a lot more time together.
- [pause, then she and Oscar exchange glances]
- Emma Leroy: [cut to Corner Gas] Hank can't stay with us anymore.
- Brent LeRoy: I could get stuff for free as long as what I'm buying is less than the hassle of making change.
- Wanda Dollard: Ah, the pain-in-the-ass threshold.
- Emma Leroy: How do you like Dog River?
- Dr. Chris Garner: Well, it takes a bit of getting used to. I'm accustomed to a slower pace.
- Emma Leroy: There's a slower pace?
- Karen Pelly: [telling Hank a riddle] There's a plane crash on the border of Alberta and Saskatchewan...
- Hank Yarbo: Is the pilot the mother?
- Karen Pelly: No.
- Hank Yarbo: Okay.
- Karen Pelly: The planes crashes on the border of Alberta and Saskatchewan. Where do you bury the survivors?
- Hank Yarbo: Right on the border, huh?
- [Karen nods]
- Hank Yarbo: Okay. Well, I guess you gotta figure out which province has more of the plane...
- Karen Pelly: The plane is equally divided between the two provinces.
- Hank Yarbo: Okay, all right, I see that. I guess you flip a coin.
- Karen Pelly: Where do you bury the SURVIVORS?
- Hank Yarbo: Oh, SURVIVORS!
- [pause]
- Hank Yarbo: One on each side.
- Karen Pelly: Hey, Lacey's talking to our new doctor.
- Hank Yarbo: Oh yeah? What's he like?
- Karen Pelly: He's a she.
- Hank Yarbo: Our new doctor's a transvestite?
- Karen Pelly: No, Hank, she's a woman.
- Hank Yarbo: A woman transvestite?