Vim Fuego: I could play "Stairway To Heaven" when I was 12. Jimmy Page didn't actually write it until he was 22. I think that says quite a lot.
Vim Fuego: I mean, we'd be as rich as the Stones if only we'd sold as many records as them.
Den Dennis: You're lucky I don't knock your fuckin' head in.
Sandy Johnson: There's no need to get violent, is there? And try not to swear so much, please, for the sake of this film...
Den Dennis: You can always put in a fucking bleep, can't you?
Cashier: Two pounds and five pence, please, love.
Den Dennis: Two quid? Two quid for one bloody sausage?
Cashier: That's right, love. Two pounds and five pence.
Den Dennis: Right, where's the camera?
[Holds sausage up to camera]
Den Dennis: Look.
Den Dennis: What's the name of this place?
[Cashier backs away]
Den Dennis: Well, anyway, it's a rip-off. Look, they're charging two quid for one bloody sausage! So don't come here!
Cashier: It was clearly marked, love. Sausage, beans and chips, two pounds and five pence.
Den Dennis: Well, I haven't got two quid, have I? Can I have half a sausage for a quid?
Cashier: No you can't.