- Assistant Coach Luther Horatio Van Dam: He's calling me names.
- Judge: He's presenting his opening statement. His job is to tell us what he plans to prove.
- Assistant Coach Luther Horatio Van Dam: He plans to prove I'm a stupid idiot?
- Judge: Apparently.
- Coach Hayden Fox: Daub, have you ever taken a piece of hot meat off a flaming grill and placed it directly in your mouth?
- Dauber Dybinski: No
- Coach Hayden Fox: Why not?
- Dauber Dybinski: I'd get burned.
- Coach Hayden Fox: And what would you call somebody who did do that?
- Dauber Dybinski: I dunno... stupid, I guess.
- Coach Hayden Fox: No further questions.
- Coach Hayden Fox: Pretend its on the grill and to use your own words, it's "molten hot."
- Walter Dybinski: Okay
- Coach Hayden Fox: Now, would you put that kielbasa in your mouth?
- Walter Dybinski: Oh no.
- Coach Hayden Fox: Why not?
- Walter Dybinski: I'll burn myself.
- Coach Hayden Fox: How do you know that?
- Walter Dybinski: Uh, everybody knows that.
- Coach Hayden Fox: What would you call somebody who didn't know that?
- Walter Dybinski: Stupid.
- Coach Hayden Fox: No further questions.