Scatman Crothers: Louie Wilson

Quotes 

• Louie Wilson : Ain't you gonna say, Good mornin'?

  Ed Brown : You want me to lie to you?

  Louie Wilson : [Louie notices Ed has poured himself a shot of bourbon into a well socket.]  Hmm. When did they start making 80 proof instant breakfast?

  Ed Brown : Look Louie, I don't tell you how to start your day. Please don't tell me how to start mine.

  [Ed tips back his drink] 

  Louie Wilson : I start mine, pickin' up trash. You start yours, drinkin' it. Oh, Such a fancy shot glass.

  [as he picks up Ed's socket and wrench] 

  Ed Brown : Give me that!

  Louie Wilson : What's buggin' you, Ed?

  Ed Brown : You really want to know? Guess.

  Louie Wilson : Chico?

  Ed Brown : You guessed.

• Louie Wilson : [Talking to Ed about Chico]  I can hardly wait to make that party!

  Ed Brown : What party?

  Louie Wilson : His housewarming at his apartment.

  Ed Brown : OOOh, That party. Oh sure, Of course.

  Louie Wilson : Did he invite you too?

  Ed Brown : Are you kidding? Would he invite me? That boy spent two years with me. I was like a father to him. You think he would have a party and not invite his own flesh and blood?... .I'm not going.

  [Looking downcast] 

  Louie Wilson : Well, I'm not gonna let that boy down. It's bad enough he's livin' where he is.

  Ed Brown : What's so bad about it?

  Louie Wilson : Oh Ed, It's in one of those kids neighborhoods where you gotta send in the SWAT Team to pick up the garbage.

  Ed Brown : It's as bad as that?

  Louie Wilson : It's miserable, Ed. I'm tellin' ya, They got the streets crawlin' around with drunks. They don't give Food Stamps down there. They go to the Welfare Office and they give 'em wine stamps.

  Ed Brown : Hey, That sounds like Skid Row.

  Louie Wilson : Skid Row? It's more like Death Row. You know they've got some of the worst thieves around there, Ed? You know somethin'? The Garden Angel quit and the Church had to hire a Police Dog.

  Ed Brown : You mean to say he gave up all this, to live in a dump like that?

  Louie Wilson : Yeah Ed, The boy has really got to be in misery.

  Ed Brown : Aw, That's good.

  [Smiling] 

• Chico Rodriguez : [Chico opens the door to Louie and Ed]  Did you have trouble finding the place?

  Ed Brown : No. No trouble at all. We just followed the flies.

  Louie Wilson : Come on. You said you were gonna be nice now, Ed.

  Ed Brown : Yeah, Well I lie a lot.

  Chico Rodriguez : Don't worry folks. It's just Darsky and Crutch.

  Ed Brown : [Louie is greeted by another Black guest and is getting ready to "slap five" when Ed stops him]  Don't bother shaking hands. We're not gonna be here that long.

  Louie Wilson : [Louie notices a Black woman wearing a decorative African robe]  OOH, What a beautiful Dashiki!

  Ed Brown : You can see through that robe?

  Chico Rodriguez : Ed, No, No. The robe is a Dashiki. It comes all the way from Africa.

  Ed Brown : Oh. I don't think it was worth the trip.

  Louie Wilson : Let Ed keep Lorraine happy.

  Ed Brown : I don't have enough money to keep Lorraine happy.

  Lorraine : Or the strength.

  Chico Rodriguez : Weasel, Come here. Come here. I want you to meet Ed Brown. This is Weasel.

  Weasel : Oh, Beautiful. An oldie but a goodie, huh? Ed, Ya need anything? I got some jewelry right here. You need a hearing aid? I got some nice necklaces.

  Chico Rodriguez : See, Weasel's into second hand jewelry and such.

  Ed Brown : You mean he's got a jewelry store in this neighborhood?

  Weasel : What store? I come to your house.

  Ed Brown : Oh.

  Chico Rodriguez : Yeah, Whether you're there or not.

  Weasel : [Inviting Ed to eat]  Hey, Grab a plate.

  Ed Brown : No thanks, I just washed my hands.

• Louie Wilson : [to Ed, after Chico has moved out and the garage is in disarray]  This place is runnin' down faster than a $2.00 watch.

• Ed Brown : [Chico is three minutes late for work]  That kid should know time. His people steal enough watches.

  Louie Wilson : You better put a safety belt on your mouth, man! We ain't no more thieves than you! Cracks like that make my Mexican blood boil!

  Ed Brown : Mexican blood? You're about as Mexican as Ingred Bergman.

  Louie Wilson : I'll have you know that I am an honorary Chicano. Ed, You're looking at a real "Chicanorary."