[Woody answers the phone]
Woody Boyd: Sam, it's for you. Someone named Carmen.
Sam Malone: [excitedly] Carmen. As in "Carmen get it"?
Cliff Clavin: [yells to everyone in the bar] All right guys. I guess you heard the story. I guess everyone knows by now, huh? I'm nothing but a loser.
Pete: [pats Cliff on the back sympathetically] Oh, it's OK, Cliff. We understand.
Cliff Clavin: I can't believe I lost on Jeopardy!
Pete: Oh, you were on Jeopardy?
Rebecca Howe: Why am I in the list of women you gone to bed with?
Sam Malone: They're not all the women that I've gone to bed with. Just the important women in my life, you know. I mean, the women I gone to bed with, my cleaninglady, ahh... my mother and you. 'course now that I've gone to bed with my cleaninglady that just leaves them, mom and... you.
Norm Peterson: Could I have another beer?
Rebecca Howe: I dont see any money Norm.
Norm Peterson: Yeah... yup. I really should go hit that bank machine I guess. But I hope on the way out I don't happen to just inadvertently mention that one thin Carla and I happen to know about you.
Rebecca Howe: Shut up Norm and drink your free beer.
Norm Peterson: This bluffing thing is a goldmine.
Carla LeBec: Yes, I've given you a wonderful gift my son. You must use it for good only, never for evil.
Norm Peterson: Free beer is good, right?
Carla LeBec: You learn fast, young Norm.
[Cliff is appearing on Jeopardy]
Alex Trebek: Let's go to Cliff and get his Final Jeopardy answer. "Who are people who have never been in my kitchen?" I'm sorry, that is wrong.
Cliff: Wait a minute, Alex. I can offer conclusive proof that those three people have never been in my kitchen.