Sam Malone: What's your name?
Brandee: Brandee - with two E's.
Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: Brandee with two E's?
[Brandee nods positively]
Ernie 'Coach' Pantusso: [reading the liquor bottle in his hands] Big company like this, they spell it wrong.
Diane Chambers: But tell me, once you've consumed as much sex for as long as you want it, what would you do then?
Norm Peterson: [long pause] I'd help the poor.
Norm Peterson: How's the kids?
Carla Tortelli: Two of 'em are ugly, one's obnoxious, and one's just stupid. He's my favorite.
Brandee: My mother told me to watch out for guys in bars.
Sam Malone: Well, then let's get out of this bar so you don't have to worry.
Sam Malone: Does anybody know any good movies?
Norm Peterson: Yeah, what's the name of that new Australian film that's supposed to be so good?
Brandee: No, no Australian films. I hate subtitles.
Diane Chambers: This one's no problem - it's dubbed.
Sam Malone: I've never met an intelligent woman that I'd want to date.
Diane Chambers: On behalf of the intelligent women around the world, may I just say...
[Diane mocks a big sigh of relief]