- [Sam is trying to telephone Frasier]
- Sam Malone: I keep calling the house and the machine keeps picking up.
- Carla Tortelli: Oh, Lilith answers?
- [Woody is giving Rebecca gifts of items he bought off the Home Shopping Channel]
- Rebecca Howe: Woody, I cannot accept these. People are going to get the wrong idea.
- Woody Boyd: What, that I have a crush on you?
- Rebecca Howe: No, that I like crap.
- Woody Boyd: You calling this stuff crap?
- Rebecca Howe: I'm sorry Woody.
- Woody Boyd: No, no, I was looking for the right word.
- Rebecca Howe: If you don't like it either, why do you keep buying this stuff?
- Woody Boyd: Not stuff, Miss Howe - crap. I buy it because it looks good on TV. And the second they flash that eight hundred number, I'm dialling.
- Rebecca Howe: Woody, this has got to stop.
- Woody Boyd: Well, it has stopped Miss Howe. I went over my credit limit with this crap, unless of course you care to advance me six months on my paycheck - could be another necklace in it for you! And if you decide not to give me the advance, just keep the necklace as your free gift.
- Rebecca Howe: Woody, you are hooked. Listen to me. You need help.
- Woody Boyd: [angrily] I don't need help. I just need more credit.
- Woody Boyd: [breaks down in tears] You're right, Miss Howe. I do need help. I'm scared. Help me. Hurry. Act now.
- Dr. Lilith Sternin-Crane: You know, Frasier, after hearing you complain about that for the umpteenth time, it's becoming impossible for me to sympathize.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [under his breath] Of course not - sympathy is a human emotion.
- Norm Peterson: Frase, uh, just out of curiosity, what did you have for dinner? Let me guess.
- Norm Peterson: [opens Frasier's kitchen door and takes a few deep breaths] Ah, porterhouse steaks smothered with mushrooms, green beans with sliced almonds, some apple brown betty, and decaf cappucino.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [laughs] Actually, we had Chinese brought in.
- Norm Peterson: [sniffs around himself] Ah, it must be in my coat.