Woody Boyd: I'm advertising for a roommate. My landlord just raised my rent.
Sam Malone: Why don't you just move?
Woody Boyd: Are you kidding, I love my neighborhood. It's so quiet there. Especially since the gangs started using silencers.
[Terry Gardner, a woman, enters the bar]
Terry Gardner: Is there a Woody Boyd here?
Woody Boyd: Yes, ma'am. What can I do for you?
Terry Gardner: Oh, Woody. I'm Terry Gardner. I'm responding to your ad for a roommate.
Woody Boyd: Oh. When I heard the name Terry, I automatically assumed it was a guy.
Terry Gardner: Oh, well, if it bothers you that I'm not a guy...
Woody Boyd: Oh, no, no, no, don't going having some big, expensive operation for me.
Carla LeBec: [about Sam sleeping with Rebecca] Did you ever think this day would come?
Sam Malone: As a matter of fact, I never had any doubt here, Carla. Behold the sealed envelope. Please open it and read the contents.
[Sam hands an envelope to Carla, who opens it and reads its contents]
Carla LeBec: "I, Sam Malone, will sleep with Rebecca Howe on the night of April 19, 1990." When did you write this?
Sam Malone: This morning. I write a new one every day.