Cheers (1982–1993)
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A House Is Not a Home 

Diane finds the perfect house for her and Sam to buy. An elderly couple, Bert and Lillian Miller, currently live there and have for forty years. After hearing the Miller's stories of life ... See full summary »



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Episode cast overview:
Lillian Miller
Bert Miller
Stephanie Walski ...
Marc Smollin ...
Stefanie Mason ...
Penny Krompier ...


Diane finds the perfect house for her and Sam to buy. An elderly couple, Bert and Lillian Miller, currently live there and have for forty years. After hearing the Miller's stories of life in that house, Diane no longer thinks that it is the perfect house for her since it is Bert and Lillian's emotionally. Based on a statement by the Millers that they will miss the Christmases the most, Frasier suggests that Sam and Diane give the Millers one last Christmas in the house to rid Diane and Sam of any guilt. Sam thinks it's a screwy idea, but it's just what Diane needs. Despite it being the heat of summer, Diane decides not to wait until December and to have Christmas come in the summer this year, at least for the Millers and their extended family. The summer Christmas party has an unintended effect both for the Millers and for Diane, but Sam decides he needs to take control of the situation which isn't totally under control until he sees dogs playing black jack. Written by Huggo

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis


Comedy | Drama





Release Date:

30 April 1987 (USA)  »

Company Credits

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Technical Specs


Sound Mix:


Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1
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Did You Know?


This episode features guest actor, Douglas Seale, as Bert Miller, and Billie Bird, as his wife, Lillian Miller. In the story line for this episode, Sam and Diane celebrate Christmas with the Millers, with Sam posing as Santa Claus. The following year, Ernest Saves Christmas came out, with Douglas Seale playing Santa Claus and Billie Bird playing his love interest. See more »


Carla Tortelli: My life's the pits. Seems like good things happen to everybody except me, you know. Norm has a new job. Frasier actually seems happy since he met his creepy girlfriend. And Sam's given up women and decided to marry Diane. What have I got? Zip. Woody, I mean how do you keep such a sunny disposition in this rotten, stinkin', infested world?
Woody Boyd: You mean, what do I do when I see Mr. Blues peaking around the corner?
Carla Tortelli: God, he even has a cute name for depression.
Woody Boyd: Well, I just close my eyes and think a ...
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References A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) See more »


Frosty the Snowman
Written by Jack Rollins & Steve Nelson
Performed by the children of the episode cast
See more »

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User Reviews

Worst Diane ever
29 April 2011 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

I have only seen all Cheers episodes thru to season 5, but so far, this is the worst episode ever!

Sam is not funny and fails to drag Diane back to reality (until he does so accidentally at the end), while Diane is actually just plain stupid. What does she want, a house that NO ONE has ever lived in? Or maybe she would've been alright with it if she just doesn't meet a previous owner. (she wants to be even MORE ignorant?)

Usually Diane is annoying, but it's funny. This time it's downright obnoxious and makes her look completely ignorant and egotistical.

Complete waste of 25 mins of my life. Thank g-d all other episodes have at least some intelligence & real humor in them.

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