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"Charmed" I Dream of Phoebe (TV Episode 2004) Poster

(TV Series)

(2004)

Quotes

Phoebe: You can't just pop in here from the future and play with people's lives because your big brother picked on you.

Chris: He picked on the WORLD, Phoebe.

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Chris: If Piper and Leo don't screw, I'm screwed!

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Paige: [Leo and Piper are asleep on the couch and cannot be woken] What's wrong with them?

Chris: It's a long story.

Paige: I don't know. Why don't you give me the Cliffnotes version.

[Chris sighs]

Paige: Come on Chris! You and Leo and Phoebe have all been acting weird since before the demon attacked. What's goin' on?

Chris: All right. I made a little wish.

Paige: You did what?

Chris: Two little wishes.

Paige: Oh great! It's not bad enough that I have to worry about Richard, now I have to worry about you too. What did you wish for?

Chris: For Leo to forgive me, which by the way was an accident.

Paige: And?

Chris: For Piper and Leo to sleep together.

Paige: You! Oh my god. You're sick! What is wrong with you?

Chris: No...

Paige: You're disghusting! You're some creepy registered sex offender from the future! Oh my god you're so gross!

Chris: I'm Piper and Leo's son!

Paige: WHAT?

Chris: They're my parents. I came back to save my family

Paige: You're serious...

Chris: Yea, only now I've got to save myself, because if my mom doesn't get pregnant in the next month, there is no me.

Paige: [sighs] This is all so wrong, and this has been such a long day.

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Chris: I'm sorry, Phoebe, but I'm running out of time here. A guy's gotta survive. I wish for Piper and Leo to sleep together tonight.

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Phoebe: I've been calling for you all week. Didn't you hear me?

Chris: For the first couple of days, yeah. Then I put you on "mute".

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Phoebe: You're the one that split them up. And why did you split them up?

Chris: Leo had to become an Elder to make room for me as your Whitelighter. It was the only way I could protect Wyatt from turning evil.

Phoebe: You're unbelievable ! I mean, most kids who are the cause of their parents divorce actually feel guilty. And you're sitting here like it's part of your master plan !

Chris: I'm sensing some real issues there.

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Phoebe: I feel so bad.

Chris: As well you should. If we don't do something soon, I can end up half fireman instead of half Whitelighter.

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Piper Halliwell: What is this big emergency? Can't it wait an hour or... two?

Chris: No, it can't. There's a demon on the loose, a genie running amok, AND it took me two wishes to get here.

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Phoebe: I never hit on you, did I?

Chris: What? No!

Phoebe: Oh, thank God.

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Jinny: You think these crystals can hold me?

[sticks her hand out and is zapped]

Paige: Nope. Not for long, that's why we're putting you back in your bottle.

Jinny: When I form my empire, the first thing I'm gonna do is rid the world of witches.

Paige: Oh yea? Well when you're back in your bottle, the first thing I'm gonna do is put you in the microwave. Haha! How do you like that?

[turns and leaves]

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Paige: Yeah, but don't you, um, need to go help Major Nelson?

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Piper Halliwell: [Phoebe appears as a blonde genie] You look ridiculous!

Phoebe: I feel ridiculous.

Piper Halliwell: Well, how am I supposed to get back to Greg now with this?

Phoebe: Is that all you care about? Would you look at me? I am trapped in pantaloons right now. Where is the mirror? Look. And why do I always get stuck with the wig?

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Chris: Oracles, fortune tellers, soothsayers they all say the same thing : if Mum and Dad don't screw this month... I'm screwed.

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Jinny: [about the demon Bosk] You cannot handle him. Nobody can. He has a flying carpet and an army of forty thieves.

Phoebe: Thirty-eight. I vanquished two.

Paige: Let me guess. He wanted a crew and a nice ride?

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[Phoebe has just set a demon free from a genie's bottle]

Paige: What do you mean she didn't read the warning label?

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[Under the influence of a spell, Leo is writing Chris a letter of apology]

Chris: Alright, alright, enough already ! You said you're sorry, let's just not go overboard.

Leo Wyatt: Okay, but after everything I've put you through, I feel like I owe it to you.

Chris: Honestly, a letter's not gonna mean a hell of a lot to me. I got plenty of them growing up.

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[Large diamond earrings appear on Paige's earlobes.]

Phoebe: [to Jinny] Did you do that?

Jinny: No, but they are lovely. Who conjured them for you?

Paige: My boyfriend, Richard. He's been showering me with gifts all week.

Phoebe: I thought you were gonna talk to him about binding his powers?

Paige: I have... but every time I bring it up, I just get another present. Luxury problem, I know ! But still.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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