Breshnik: [the eccentric landlord exits with a final declaration of his belief that people should wear leaves instead of clothes ] Someday all bodies will be in leaves!
John Bosley: [Turning to Jill] Y'know, actually it's not such a bad idea, though. If we had our shirts made out of tobacco leaves, when we got tired of them we could smoke 'em!
Jill Munroe: I think you already have, Bosley.
Kelly Garrett: [In the breakroom at the Academy, Kelly turns to a couple fellow cadets] Say, could you give a girl some change?
Barton: Sure thing, sure
[comes over and slips a coin into the machine]
Barton: . What would you like?
Kelly Garrett: I usually buy my own.
Barton: Well, now I'm buying. That's the change!
Capt. Rogers: I see you're all moved in.
Sabrina Duncan: Well, yeah, I got my nameplate, I got my badge, eh, just point me to the bad guys.
Capt. Rogers: Heh. Well, we're hoping you could point us. We keep missing them.
Lt. Howard Fine: [about Bill Mather] I remember he told me once, years ago: 'You walk in the gutter long enough, you're gonna get some on ya.'
Sabrina Duncan: I'll try to step lightly.
Lt. Howard Fine: We got a tip this morning that a massage parlour called 'Tellies' opened up last week, and they might be bringing in a few hookers.
Sabrina Duncan: Shall we take a look?
Lt. Howard Fine: Well, eh, if you could wander in there, convince them you were a lady of the night...
Sabrina Duncan: [laughs] Alright, ehm... I'll need to wear something that's a little more conspicuous.
Lt. Howard Fine: [snaps his fingers] Well there's a terrific number in wardrobe. Blue fringed pantsuit. You'll love it.
Sabrina Duncan: Blue fringe?
John Bosley: Ah, our new landlord.
John Bosley: Well, how nice to meet you.
[reaches out to shake hands]
Breshnik: Not to touch Breshnik!
Jill Munroe: You never touch?
Breshnik: Breshnik bought this to be Temple Breshnik. Now, it's filled with pagans.
Jill Munroe: Oh, you're a man of the cloth.
Breshnik: Not cloth, leaves!
Breshnik: This was Breshnik's dream: all bodies should wrap themselves in leaves. That is how it was in the beginning. In the beginning, who had clothes? Nobody. Heh. So what did they wear?
Jill Munroe: Let me guess: leaves.
Breshnik: Actually, at first, tigerskins. But where are the tigers today? Nowhere!
Jill Munroe: Oh, so now you're back to leaves.
Breshnik: You laugh at Breshnik?
Jill Munroe: Oh no, not... so far.
Barton: [on phone] Well, what do you want?
Lt. Howard Fine: [in phonebooth] What I want is the days to go smooth as oil. I want the children to smile and the fools to keep dancing.
Man: She really gave me a massage.
John Bosley: Oh, you were expecting violins? That'll be twenty dollars.
[two other customers get up and leave]
Man: Actually, you have wonderful fingers.
Jill Munroe: Ah, these old things? I've had them with me for years.
Bill Duncan: [holding up Sabrina's nameplate] This S. Duncan, that couldn't be Sabrina?
Lt. Howard Fine: Yeah, it would.
Bill Duncan: You're kidding.
Lt. Howard Fine: No, she a relative?
Bill Duncan: Eh, close. Ex-wife.
Sabrina Duncan: You mind telling me where we're going?
Lt. Howard Fine: That's a good question. When you're halfway between yesterday's dreams and tomorrow's nightmares. Where the hell are you?
Sabrina Duncan: You read that somewhere, right?
Sabrina Duncan: Yeah. I wish I'd said it.
Sabrina Duncan: Well, you just did.
Lt. Howard Fine: Yeah, I did, didn't I?
Sabrina Duncan: [Fine is pointing a gun at Sabrina] Gee coach, something I said?
Lt. Howard Fine: I liked all your moves, kid. Really. I just been ziggin' and zaggin' in the gutters so long that...
Sabrina Duncan: You got some on ya, huh?
Lt. Howard Fine: Would you believe me if I said I was sorry?
Sabrina Duncan: Sure... you're the coach.
Lt. Howard Fine: You're not gonna make it easy, are ya?
Sabrina Duncan: Not by a damn sight.