Car 54, Where Are You? (1961–1963)
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Joan Crawford Didn't Say No 

When a septuagenarian delicatessen owner reports he will be marrying Joan Crawford, the boys of the 53rd are sent out to bust the phony matrimonial service that promises to pair its clients with Hollywood movie stars.

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(created by), (teleplay) | 1 more credit »
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Cast

Episode cast overview:
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Officer Gunther Toody
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Officer Francis Muldoon
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Mrs. Rachel Bronson
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Officer Leo Schnauser
Jacob Kalich ...
Mr. Eisenberg
Patricia Bright ...
Mrs. Claire Block
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Captain Paul Block
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Storyline

When a septuagenarian delicatessen owner reports he will be marrying Joan Crawford, the boys of the 53rd are sent out to bust the phony matrimonial service that promises to pair its clients with Hollywood movie stars.

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Comedy

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17 March 1963 (USA)  »

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1.33 : 1
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Trivia

Per the title, Joan Crawford was an American movie actress who starred in films from the 1920's to the 1950's which included an Academy Award for Best Actress for Mildred Pierce (1945). Unfortunately the luster of her star was tarnished by 'Fay Dunaway''s portrayal of her in Mommie Dearest (1981). See more »

Goofs

Throughout this series, actor Paul Reed's character is identified as Captain Martin Block, but on this program, Block's first name is given as 'Paul' two times. See more »

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User Reviews

 
She's B-a-a-c-k.....for the Third Time
12 January 2012 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

It's "Mrs. Bronson" (Molly Picon) again.....this time being a "marriage broker" promising local losers that they could marry some Hollywood star.

Usually, "Gunther Toody" is the really dumb one and that's fine, because he's good at playing that. However, when everybody is a dummy and everyone keeps getting conned by "Mrs. Bronson,"as they did in two other episodes.....it gets a little tiresome.

In this case, the story is just stupid beyond measure. Nobody would believe a Hollywood star would marry them, sight-unseen. On it's own, it would be "fair to poor" but since this is the third time with the same bit it's not funny.


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