Detective Thacker: DOA is Michael Starling. Bike messenger for Speedball Express. Several unpaid summonses for reckless bicycle riding, and one prior for assaulting a cab driver.
Danny Messer: That's still a crime in New York?
Theodore Gates: I registered my change of address with the proper authorities.
Det. Stella Bonasera: We're not here for a Megan's Law visit, Mr. Gates, although seeing you within ten feet of a child is nauseating.
[Danny and Stella question a pedophile about a murder]
Danny Messer: Usually when you stab somebody you know the guy's name. It's just common courtesy.
Theodore Gates: Well I didn't stab anyone.
Theodore Gates: What on earth is he talking about?
Det. Stella Bonasera: Your DNA was found on the knife that was used to stab Michael Starling.
Theodore Gates: I see. Was it a Swiss Army Knife?
Danny Messer: Nice job, you got it on the first try.
Theodore Gates: [to Stella] Is it necessary that he be here?
Danny Messer: What? What's the matter, am I too old for you?
Det. Stella Bonasera: [after winning a bet with Mac] Some days you're the dog, and some days you're the hydrant.
Det. Stella Bonasera: [Stella comes in, sees Danny browsing a women's magazine] If you wanted beauty tips, all you had to do was ask.
Danny Messer: Did you know that waterproof mascara dries out your lashes? That's amazing.
[the Magazine Vendor, Mark Stutz, just explained he stabbed the messenger because he was sick and tired of bikers acting like they own the area]
Det. Stella Bonasera: [disgusted] Pedestrian rage. Why do I even ask?
[at that moment, a bike messenger speeds by, giving little warning, almost running Stella over]
Det. Stella Bonasera: Son of a bitch!
Mark Stutz: Makes you want to murder 'em, don't it?
Det. Stella Bonasera: [Stella doesn't respond to his comment] Get in the car.
[Danny and Stella are investigating the death of a bike messenger]
Det. Stella Bonasera: Alright Danny. How does the DNA from the fingernail scrapings on the knife not match Brett Stokes? I mean, she's got 'motive' tattooed on her forehead.
Danny Messer: Hey, don't kill the messenger.
Danny Messer: See what I just did there?
Det. Stella Bonasera: Yeah, it was cute.
Mac Taylor: [entering the empty morgue] Hawkes?
Sheldon Hawkes: [sliding out from a body storage chamber] One of the trainees left the door open last weekend. A couple of pipes iced over. Places a horrible burden on the whole system. We run the risk of blowing a compressor. But you're here about your dog show DOA.
[Hawkes leads Mac to the autopsy table]
Sheldon Hawkes: Cause of death: ruptured aorta. Internal hemorrhaging, shock. Dead in a matter of minutes.
Mac Taylor: That's some savage needlework.
Sheldon Hawkes: Yeah. She was unlucky. The needle could've easily passed straight through without doing any serious damage, but the point caught the aorta just right... and the dam burst. Other than the leash marks, no injuries on her hands.
Mac Taylor: Suggests she didn't try to break her fall. But there was major disturbance at the scene.
Sheldon Hawkes: I did find materials under her nails. Looked like skin. I sent it over to DNA.
Mac Taylor: So she could've been attacked.
Sheldon Hawkes: No defense wounds, no torn clothing, no recent contusions. Now, I did find foreign hairs under her clothing. And this... was in her mouth.
Mac Taylor: Looks like latex. I'll take a look at it. Anything else?
Sheldon Hawkes: I saved the best for last.
Mac Taylor: You always do.
Sheldon Hawkes: When I first saw this, I thought it might have been a postmortem dog bite.
Mac Taylor: Those are no canine's canines.
Ross Howell: I became a vet because I wanted to alleviate some suffering, and I end up dealing drugs to manic-depressive shih tzus.