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"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" Iced (TV Episode 2005) Poster

Quotes

Gil Grissom: [Grissom, Greg, and Sara investigate the death of two lovers] "For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo."

Greg Sanders: Found a condom wrapper.

Gil Grissom: So much for safe sex.

[Sara looks disturbed]

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Detective Vartann: Homicide called you guys over an hour ago. 4-19 at the Tangiers. No one's responded. Not even the coroner... Both shifts are tapped.

Conrad Ecklie: Did you check

Detective Vartann: [interrupts] I checked the board. No one's available

[pause]

Detective Vartann: except for you.

Conrad Ecklie: I'm the Assistant Lab Director.

Detective Vartann: I know. But you're still qualified to process a scene, right?

Conrad Ecklie: Yes, I am.

[unwillingly]

Conrad Ecklie: I'll dust off my kit. Meet you there.

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Dr. Al Robbins: Interesting fact about cyanide - not everyone can smell it.

Sara Sidle: Right, it's a genetic quirk.

Dr. Al Robbins: Unfortunately, I don't have that ability.

David Hodges: [walks into the morgue] "The nose" has arrived.

Sara Sidle: Hodges has the genetic quirk?

[Robbins nods]

David Hodges: It's a blessing and a curse.

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[Catherine, Warrick and David work on a body on a crop circle]

Catherine Willows: The only pathway is from the paramedics. How'd he end up in the middle of the circle?

[David looks up at the sky]

David Phillips: I have an idea.

[Warrick looks up]

David Phillips: I'll keep it to myself.

[Catherine smiles]

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Nick Stokes: [enters the room] Crop circles?

[laughs]

Nick Stokes: Come on, Super Dave. Wasn't the alien autopsy embarrassing enough?

David Phillips: Given the circumstances, alien was not an unreasonable conclusion at the time.

Nick Stokes: You need to get a girlfriend.

David Phillips: I'm engaged, but thank you.

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Conrad Ecklie: I was just thinking, David, I've lost my keys, sunglasses, even a wallet.

David Phillips: Sir, this really isn't my fault.

Conrad Ecklie: But I've never lost a body.

David Phillips: I didn't do anything.

Conrad Ecklie: Find him, Phillips, or this goes on your record.

David Phillips: What would you like me to do?

Conrad Ecklie: Get out! Get out! Out!

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Detective Vartann: What are we expecting to find here?

Dr. Al Robbins: Someone went to a lot of trouble to steal James Billmeyer, maybe there's a clue in his personal effects.

Detective Vartann: So you're a CSI now?

Dr. Al Robbins: If I were, I would have printed the cooler.

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Detective Vartann: Two pairs of socks, two pairs of underwear, two T-shirts. That tells me the guy was going to be staying in Vegas for two days.

Dr. Al Robbins: Your powers of deduction are remarkable, detective.

Detective Vartann: Thank you.

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Gil Grissom: And this must be Mr. Billmeyer. I'm so glad he's back.

Conrad Ecklie: Very funny.

Gil Grissom: You might want to have Hodges analyze that cigar. Oh, and the print tech is free. He could, ah, spray the party hat with ninhydrin.

Conrad Ecklie: I think I remember how to do my job, Gil, thank you.

Gil Grissom: I love it when you wear your gloves.

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Neil Jansen: [walks into the room] Am I interrupting?

David Hodges: Actually, yeah. Conrad was about to pat me on the back.

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Greg Sanders: I found this toilet behind my apartment complex. It's volunteered for an experiment.

Sara Sidle: It's moving.

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Greg Sanders: Ah, a sex journal. Lists of girls, dates and sexual activies.

Sara Sidle: Boys and their conquests.

Greg Sanders: I've never even heard of some of these.

Sara Sidle: [Surprised] Really?

Greg Sanders: Never mind.

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Mia Dickerson: So, I'm thinking that Trip put a trophy condom on his neighbors door and then transferred a trace of his reproductive material back onto his own doorknob.

Sara Sidle: You've uh, you've heard of trophy condoms?

Mia Dickerson: Sara, I went to college.

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Catherine Willows: I thought you said you were a dork in high school.

Warrick Brown: I was a dork... I still am a dork. But I had dimples. I got a little action.

Catherine Willows: I don't doubt that.

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Greg Sanders: Hey Grissom, when you went to college did you live in the dorms?

Gil Grissom: Surely, you jest.

[Sara laughs]

Sara Sidle: You know they say a BA is worth a million dollars of extra income over your life.

Gil Grissom: Yeah but the present value of college tuition is about the same amount.

Greg Sanders: So you're saying college isn't worth the expense?

Gil Grissom: I guess it depends on what you learn.

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Mia Dickerson: Hey. Want to talk about semen?

Sara Sidle: Okay.

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Sara Sidle: [after a toilet explodes in a college dorm] Well, there's got to be some logical explanation.

Greg Sanders: Well, if dorm food is as bad as I can remember, we should consider explosive diarrhea.

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Sara Sidle: I'll drive.

Greg Sanders: You *always* do.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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