- Spike: I don't understand... This sort of thing's never happened to me b-before.
- Willow Rosenberg: Maybe you were nervous.
- Spike: I felt all right when I started... Let's try again.
- [he leaps on her and draws back in pain]
- Spike: Ow! Oh!
- [he tries again]
- Spike: Ow...! *Damn it*!
- Willow Rosenberg: Maybe you're trying too hard... Doesn't this happen to every vampire?
- Spike: Not to me, it doesn't.
- Willow Rosenberg: It's me, isn't it?
- Spike: What are you talking about?
- Willow Rosenberg: Well, you came looking for Buffy, then settled. I-I... You didn't wanna bite me. I just happened to be around.
- Spike: Piffle!
- Willow Rosenberg: I know I'm not the kind of girl vamps like to sink their teeth into... It's always like, "Ooh, you're like a sister to me" or, "Oh, you're such a good friend."
- Spike: Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat.
- Willow Rosenberg: Really?
- Spike: Thought about it.
- Willow Rosenberg: [slightly flattered] When?
- Spike: Remember last year, you had on that, uh, fuzzy pink number with the lilac underneath?
- Willow Rosenberg: I never woulda guessed. You played the blood-lust kinda cool.
- Spike: Mmm. I hate being obvious. All fangy and "Rrrr!" Takes the mystery out.
- Willow Rosenberg: But if you could...
- Spike: *If* I could, yeah.
- Willow Rosenberg: You know, this doesn't make you any less terrifying.
- Spike: [sighs] Don't patronize me.
- [Willow is advising Riley how to initiate a conversation with Buffy at a party]
- Willow Rosenberg: Okay, she's wearing the halter top with sensible shoes. That means mostly dancing, light contact, but don't push your luck. Heavy conversation's out of the question.
- Riley Finn: So what do I do?
- Willow Rosenberg: [surprised] Ask her to dance.
- Riley Finn: Right. Dance... Wait. No.
- Willow Rosenberg: What's the matter?
- Riley Finn: I can't dance.
- Willow Rosenberg: Then talk. Keep eye contact. Funny is good, but don't be glib. And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel.
- [Riley looks back at her, very surprised]
- Willow Rosenberg: A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun!
- Willow Rosenberg: Why should I trust you?
- Riley Finn: Just sort of hoping you'd think I have an honest face.
- Willow Rosenberg: I've seen honest faces before. They usually come attached to liars.
- [Spike captured and in a cell]
- Spike: And, uh, they are...? The government? Nazis? A major cosmetics company?
- Tom: Who cares? All I know is, one minute I'm running from the Slayer and the next thing, I'm here.
- Spike: *The Slayer*! I knew it! I knew it!
- Tom: Yeah, she took apart my crew and led me straight to these guys.
- Spike: Set me up, too. I always worried what would happen when that bitch got some funding.
- Professor Maggie Walsh: You know the rules. You know I hate exceptions, and yet somehow you feel your exception is exceptional.
- Willow Rosenberg: Oh, but...
- Professor Maggie Walsh: It is. To you. But since I'm neither a freshman nor a narcissist, I have to consider the whole class. If your friend can't respect my schedule, I think it's best he not come back.
- [Willow, looking hurt and miserable, walks off]
- Buffy Summers: [walks up to Walsh] You know, for someone who teaches human behavior, you might try showing some.
- Professor Maggie Walsh: It's not my job to coddle my students.
- Buffy Summers: You're right. A human being in pain has nothing to do with your job.
- [walks away]
- Professor Maggie Walsh: I like her.
- Riley Finn: Really? You don't think she's a little peculiar?
- Spike: I'm only 126.
- Willow Rosenberg: You're being too hard on yourself. Why don't we wait a half an hour and try again?
- Xander Harris: No studying? *Damn*! Next thing you'll tell me is I'll have to eat jelly doughnuts or sleep with a supermodel to get things done around here. I ask you, how much can one man give?
- [Giles and Xander are hiding in the woods, watching for the mysterious commandos]
- Xander Harris: Every man faces this moment. Here. Now. Watching. Waiting for an unseen enemy that has no face. Nerve endings screaming in silence. Never knowing which thought might be your last.
- Rupert Giles: [impatiently] Oh, shut up.
- Riley Finn: I can't believe it... I choked.
- Willow Rosenberg: You really, really did.
- Riley Finn: You don't understand. I'm good at things. That's what I do. Work hard, apply myself, get it done.
- Willow Rosenberg: Well, you failed extremely well.
- [last lines]
- Buffy Summers: Uh, last night... at the party, you wanted to tell me something?
- Riley Finn: Oh, yeah. Very important stuff... I don't remember any of it now. But you would have been fascinated, possibly even moved... Did Willow tell you I like cheese?
- Buffy Summers: You're a little peculiar.
- Riley Finn: [smiles] I can live with that.
- Willow Rosenberg: Okay, say that I help and you start a conversation. It goes great. You like Buffy. She likes you. You spend time together, feelings grow deeper and one day, without even realizing it, you find you're in love. Time stops, and it feels like the whole world's made for you two, and you two alone, until the day one of you leaves and rips the still-beating heart from the other who's now a broken, hollow, mockery of the human condition...
- Riley Finn: Yep, that's the plan.
- Willow Rosenberg: I figured it was.
- [first lines]
- Forrest Gates: Women. Young, nubile, exciting. Each one a mystery waiting to be unlocked. Think any of them are gonna show? 'Cause the party'd be lame if we lack for hotties... Professor...? You with me?
- Riley Finn: No. I'm with this large pile of ungraded papers, due at 3:00.
- Forrest Gates: How are you gonna learn anything if you keep doing schoolwork? Oh... Check her out. Is she hot, or is she *hot*?
- Riley Finn: She's Buffy.
- Forrest Gates: Buffy? I like that. That girl's so hot, she's buffy.
- Riley Finn: It's her name, Forrest.
- Forrest Gates: You've established first contact? Excellent. What do you think of her?
- Riley Finn: You know, I never really thought about what I think about her.
- Forrest Gates: A girl that cute in the face, and you form no opinion?
- Riley Finn: No, I mean... she's all right, I guess. She's just kinda... I don't know... Peculiar.
- Forrest Gates: Peculiar?
- Riley Finn: Yeah.
- Forrest Gates: Hey, Graham.
- Graham Miller: Huh?
- Forrest Gates: What do you think of the blonde chick? Mattressable, n'est-ce pas? Riley's not down. Doesn't like her.
- Riley Finn: I don't dislike her. She just... she never feels like she's really there when you talk to her. I like girls I can get a grip on.
- Forrest Gates: I bet you do.
- Riley Finn: Not that way. Just a little less ready for takeoff all the time. There's definitely something off about her.
- Graham Miller: Maybe she's Canadian.
- [Knock on door]
- Willow Rosenberg: Come in.
- [Spike enters, Willow jumps out of bed]
- Willow Rosenberg: Spike...! Wh-Wh-What do you want? A-A spell? I can do that.
- Spike: I'll give you a choice. Now I'm gonna kill you. No choice in that. But... I can let you stay dead, or... bring you back, to be like me.
- Willow Rosenberg: I'll-I'll scream!
- Spike: [chuckles] Bonus.
- Xander Harris: How's Wil dealing...
- Buffy Summers: With the black hole of despair she's been living in since Oz left...? She's dealing. I'm helping. It's hard. Ergo, party.
- Rupert Giles: Well, based on-on, uh, Buffy's description, I believe the men that we're after look something like, um... like this.
- [Giles holds up a drawing]
- Xander Harris: The latest in fall fascism. I like it. A bit full in the hips for my tastes, but, uh...
- Willow Rosenberg: [to Riley] You need to relax. I mean, you're not proposing. You're just making contact, getting a reaction. Any reaction is okay... except projectile vomiting. But,
- [chuckles]
- Willow Rosenberg: what are the chances of that...