Buffy Summers: I'm done. Spike, you're a killer. And I should've done this years ago.
Spike: You know what? Do it. Bloody just do it.
Buffy Summers: What?
Spike: End... my... torment. Seeing you, every day, everywhere I go, every time I turn around. Take me out of a world that has you in it.
[Spike angrily takes off his shirt and throws it to the ground]
Spike: Just kill me.
[Buffy darts in with the stake, but hesitates as Spike flinches. Spike grabs and kisses her; she pulls back, horrified, and he just stares at her in shock]
Buffy Summers: [moves in slowly, grabs him by the head and kisses him] Spike. I want you.
Spike: Buffy, I love you. God, I love you so much.
[Spike wakes up from the dream, bolting upright with a gasp, looking stunned and distressed. Harmony remains asleep by his side]
Spike: Oh, God, no. Please no.
Spike: Okay. Is it bigger than a breadbox?
Harmony: No. Four left.
Spike: So it's smaller than a breadbox.
Harmony: Heh heh! No. Only three.
Spike: Harmony... is it a sodding breadbox?
Harmony: Yes! Oh, my God! Someone's blondy bear is a 20-Question genius!
Spike: Buffy, Buffy, Buffy! Everywhere I turn she's there! That nasty little face! That fancy shampoo commercial hair! That whole sodding holier-than-thou attitude!
Harmony: Well, aren't we kinda unholy by def...?
Spike: She follows me, you know. Tracks me down. I'm her pet project. Drive Spike round the bend. Makes every day a fresh bout of torture.
[picks up a headstone and throws it]
Spike: You don't understand. I can't get rid of her. She's everywhere. She's haunting me, Harmony. This has got to end.
Buffy Summers: Spike, I just saw you taste your own nose blood. You know what? I'm too grossed out to hear anything you have to say. Go home.
Spike: It's blood. It's what I do.
Spike: I will know your blood, Slayer. I will make your neck my chalice... and drink deep.
[Spike sniffs as he wipes his nose, turns and takes three steps, keeping his glare directed at the distant departing Slayer. On the fourth step he falls into a freshly dug open grave]
[Willow in the magic shop]
Willow Rosenberg: I feel like a witch in a magic shop.
Spike: Oh, Pacey! You blind idiot. Can't you see she doesn't love you?
Harmony: Is it safe? Has Buffy gotten to you yet? I saw her patrolling just now... with a stake. She won't give up until she's killed me to death.
Spike: Buffy's looking for you?
Harmony: Of course. That's why I'm on the lam. Didn't you hear? I'm totally her arch-nemesis.
Spike: Is that right? I must've missed the memo.
Harmony: There was a mem-? Ugh. Spike, oh my God! This is, like, a real emergency.
[It's a dark evening. Lamps dimly illuminate the graveyard as Buffy crouches, alert, surveying from atop a crypt. Sensing something, she stands, then leaps down from the crypt and runs, stopping over a fresh grave. Looking down, a pair of arms suddenly jut up from the grave. Not waiting, she stabs her stake through the earth, killing the vampire before it can finish rising from the ground. Nearby, another vampire rapidly escapes his grave. Buffy rushes over and commences battle, ducking its first swing and landing several blows with her fists and feet. Another kick sends the vampire reeling twenty yards away. It stands, but is grabbed and tossed aside by... ]
Buffy Summers: Riley?
Riley Finn: Buffy! What are you doin' here?
Buffy Summers: [implying obviousness] My job.
Riley Finn: Well, I just thought you were in the North sector.
Buffy Summers: Watch out!
[the vampire lunges back at Riley. Riley ducks the blow, kicks the back of its knee, blocks its arm and twists it behind its back. He then hurls it surprisingly high at a nearby crypt, taking its top stonework in the gut before falling to the ground]
Buffy Summers: Nevermind.
[still stunned, Riley punches it once more in the face before staking it in the heart. Another vamp rises. Buffy starts to leap into action when Spike suddenly tackles it]
Buffy Summers: Why do I even bother to show up?
[Spike blocks several blows with martial-arts moves]
Buffy Summers: Spike, what are you doing here?
Spike: Same reason as you and your Cub Scout here, I wager.
[Spike lands four more blows on the latest vamp]
Spike: Wanted a spot of violence before bedtime.
[Spike smiles at his quip, but it doesn't last long as the vamp takes advantage of his distraction, landing a major blow that sends him in a head-over-heels flip, earning Spike a bloody nose. Dazed, Buffy rushes in, pushes Spike aside, and stakes the vamp]
[Buffy turns and gives Spike an out-of-patience look. Spike wipes his nose and sucks the blood off his fingers]
Spike: What? I softened him up.
Buffy Summers: Better keep out of my way, Spike. I'm not going to take this much longer.
Spike: And I should do what with my spare time? Sit at home knitting... cunning sweater sets?
Buffy Summers: Would it keep you out of my way?
Riley Finn: She's right. You shouldn't be out here when she's patrolling.
[Buffy gives Riley a look of "You're a fine one to talk."]
Spike: Oh! I saw that. Looks like neither boy is entirely welcome. You should take him home, Slayer. Make him stay there. I've got knitting needles he can borrow.
Harmony: Pretty please? I'll do anything.
Spike: Anything, will you?
Harmony: Yeah, I said I'll do anything.
[Spike searches her eyes with his]
Harmony: Ohh. You mean, will I have sex with you? Well, yeah.
Harmony: Do you know what it means that he can't hurt any living thing? It means he can't even pick flowers.
Buffy Summers: It's great.
Buffy Summers: I-it's all great.
Rupert Giles: Well, you've earned it. Truly.
Buffy Summers: Thank you guys so much. You're like my... fairy godmother and Santa Claus and Q all wrapped up into one... Q from Bond, not Star Trek.